Premier LinkedIn shitposter and Green MP Francisco Hernandez on how he’ll win Dunedin.

Green MP Francisco Hernandez views his purpose in parliament in simple terms: “Trying to fuck the government, trying to stop the government from fucking people.”

Hernandez apologies for the state of his dress shirt, which has the odd stain and crumb, but fucking can be dirty business. Besides, he bought my drink – we’re both sipping Moscow mules out of copper cups – so far be it for me to point out any flaws.

So, how does a first-term MP successfully fuck the government? If you’re Hernandez, it typically means drafting multiple amendments for a single bill – like the 100 or so he drafted for the Climate Change Response Act – and generally “slowing things down and causing headaches”. Having worked as a staffer for former Greens MP Denise Roche a decade ago, Hernandez knows the real work gets done on the ground, providing support to community members, but when you’re stuck in the debating chamber you may as well try and slow down the legislative processes.

Within his own party, the biggest thing taking up Hernandez’s mind is the Green membership’s upcoming vote on the party’s list ranking ahead of the general election. Currently, Hernandez is 17 on the list, and he only made it into parliament thanks to former co-leader James Shaw’s departure (yes, it feels like a million years ago, but that is something that indeed happened this parliamentary term). Hernandez says he’s compiled at least six Excel spreadsheets “to try and forecast the outcome [of the ranking]– I know it’s not productive, but my brain is stuck on it”.

Does he have a way to shut up that ruminating mind? In terms of distractions, Hernandez moonlights as a LinkedIn shitposter, and is a keen reader with “niche historical obsessions” – “I went through an American Civil War phase, but I’m into Napoleon right now”. But for the most part, he’s a total work horse: “I’m like a monk, basically: this is my life’s work, this is my life’s purpose,” he says. “I’m always thinking about work.”

Even if he gets a less than an ideal ranking on the party list, there’s another way Hernandez can get back into parliament: by winning the Dunedin seat. The former president of the Otago University Students’ Association (OUSA) reckons the city is ready for a green wave, and it could be the first time the Greens flip a seat from an incumbent. “I think there’s an understanding that Dunedin being seen as a [Labour] safe seat has been bad for the city because it means that it gets prioritised less in terms of investment decisions,” Hernandez says. “Labour MPs based in the city don’t feel like they need to fight very hard for Dunedin, and that’s how we end up with things like cuts to the Southern Hospital rebuild because [they] think, ‘people are going to vote us in anyway, why should we fight for them?'” He makes a promise: “We’ll give Labour trouble.”

Hernandez knows the streets of Dunedin intimately. Although, there was that one time during his stint with OUSA when he got a bit too pissed on a night out and couldn’t remember where he lived. Members of the university’s Māori Students’ Association had to give him a hand and “called every number on my fucking phone, even the vice chancellor at the time”. She didn’t know where Hernandez lived either, and they didn’t discuss the call the next day.

Anyway, Hernandez made it out unscathed and is now ready to be the city’s elected MP. And with the Greens hitting 14.5% in the latest Roy Morgan poll – which I am assured is totally accurate and never wrong – Hernandez is looking ahead in 2026 with the same optimism as a Warriors fanboy. “It’s genuinely our year,” Hernandez says. “We’re so fucking back this year. We never left.”

THE SPINOFF PUB Q+A

How much should a pint cost?

Well, I think it’s far too expensive. This is kind of like a weird hobby horse that I have been banging on about since I was OUSA president, but it’s too cheap to drink at home and too expensive to drink out in Dunedin. It’s basically killed the student experience. 

So whatever the price is that like enables students to like actually drink in social controlled environments where they’re like actually supervised is better than the alternative, which is like students getting like really fucking wasted at home and like staggering to pubs drunk.

Do you have a karaoke go-to?

‘Yellow’ by Coldplay, because it’s really easy to sing. Or ‘Fernando’ by ABBA; I mean, I’m called Fernando so much that I might as well [sing it].

Favourite place to get a drink in Aotearoa?

I like going to Emerson’s Brewery. They’ve got nice pub food, it’s close to campus, and it’s just nice, classic pub vibes, but probably slightly more bougie than a student pub. But there’s hardly any student pubs in Dunedin these days. I pledge that if I’m elected as the electorate MP to work to get a student-run pub.

Which three MPs would be on your pub quiz team?

Can I just check which MPs named me, to be honest? Because I feel like you need to give the love back, you know. [Cue a few minutes of Hernandez name searching himself on The Spinoff.] My name’s come up in [Green MP] Steve Abel’s so, yeah, probably Steve, I’d have to put him in. [Act MP] Cameron Luxton also named me, I’ll put him in.

I think I’d probably pick the PM, so I could lobby him on a niche Filipino thing. I’d like to lobby the prime minister on at the moment is, like, when Filipino migrants come to New Zealand and they come with their pension from the Philippines, it’s treated as income rather than savings.

It basically reduces the amount they can get on the Super, which isn’t super fair from my perspective because [the Philippines pension], it’s not actually money given by the Filipino government, it’s literally just a savings scheme. So it’s basically just like bringing over your bank balance, because there’s zero contribution from the Filipino government. So I’d like to lobby him on that, and National will have enough votes between our two parties to change the law. And this would help Paulo [Garcia, National MP,] leave a legacy – we’re going to take joint credit.

Which MP from across the aisle would you most like to share a drink with?

Maybe [National MP] James Meager, because we were contemporaries in student politics. We actually served as a part of the same executive, and we tried to roll the sitting president. We were frenemies, you know, we were rivals sometimes, but we also worked together. He’s more ambitious than he looks.

Is there an alcohol-related law you would like to change?

This isn’t a Green Party policy or anything, but I really want to see how the licensing trust model that is used in West Auckland and Invercargill could be made easier to roll out nationwide. I feel like alcohol does produce some social harms, and the community getting the benefit of that would be really good. And another thing I’d change is a glass bottle ban in North Dunedin, because glass is a huge problem.

What’s a policy area we’ve been nursing without finishing the glass?

Te Pūkenga getting disestablished without a clear plan was really not good. And I think the wider problem is that we don’t do training pathways really well in New Zealand, and we don’t marry the graduate outcomes with the pipeline side of things. Last year, I think it was something like 50% of the nurses who graduated didn’t get jobs.

I feel like there needs to be more rationalisation between our workforce planning, our tertiary system and our immigration system. Those all need to work together in a more coordinated way.

What qualities make a good drinking partner?

They have to be a funny drunk. They can’t be a mean drunk, because mean drunks are bummers to me.

Have you ever had a Schnapps election moment where you regretted your political instinct?

I’ve been really careful this term, I’ve not made a political decision I regret this year yet. There’s been things that I’ve done and thought, why did I do that? But I’ve gotten away with it… That’s the thing about making a mistake. If no one notices, did you make a mistake? No, you can just move on. There’s been a lot of self-inflicted wounds on the progressive side of politics – I’d like to not be one of them.

Up next on One MP, One Pint: Southland MP Joseph Mooney. Read more OMPOP interviews here.