A once-great Kiwi and enthusiast for Antichrist chat seems to be falling for a rival bolt-hole paradise, Argentina.
What a day it must have been. In August 2011, tech billionaire Peter Thiel swore his allegiance to the queen, her heirs and successors, and pledged to faithfully observe the laws of New Zealand and fulfil his duties as a New Zealand citizen. In a private ceremony at the most quintessentially Kiwi location imaginable, the New Zealand Consulate in Santa Monica, Thiel, who has called himself a “small-o orthodox Christian”, very likely finished up with the optional signoff, “So help me God.”
So help you God, indeed, Mr Thiel. News arrives, via plucky metropolitan daily The New York Times, that Thiel – pronounced with a hard T, like the former name of Air New Zealand – has fallen for another bolt-hole escape from America. Argentina.
“Over the past two months, Mr Thiel has met with the country’s president, Javier Milei, and his ministers; purchased a mansion in one of Buenos Aires’ most exclusive neighborhoods; and hosted a dinner with local economists where he discussed the Antichrist, one of his favorite conversation topics, according to Argentine officials and people familiar with Mr. Thiel’s activities,” reports the Times. “Mr Thiel, who has a history of collecting backup countries as he hedges his bets against the United States, is considering making Argentina another Plan B, according to two people familiar with his thinking.”
He does have a bit of coin. Forbes puts his net wealth at $29bn, which, converted into New Zealand currency, is about 3.2 billion $15 pāua pies at Puku Pies & Kai in Petone.
His wealth stems from enterprises including PayPal and the not-remotely-dystopian Palantir and he has done many cool things including bankrolling Donald Trump campaigns, secretly funding Hulk Hogan’s lawsuit that bankrupted the website Gawker and musing that democracy and freedom are not compatible and that government is “an almost literally demonic entity”.
Thiel developed an appetite for an “escape hatch” out of a general prepper concern about an Armageddon triggered by, say, nuclear war or artificial intelligence. That has reportedly been reignited by prospects of something truly sinister: a tax on billionaires in California. Argentina especially appeals, it seems, thanks to the approach of the firebrand rightwing president, Javier Milei, who presumably ticks just enough of Thiel’s strange authoritarian-libertarian philosophical boxes.
“Underscoring his belief in the country, Mr Thiel, 58, has temporarily relocated his family to Argentina and enrolled his children in a local school,” sources told the Times. “The Argentine government has also explored offering the billionaire permanent residence or even citizenship, a person familiar with Mr Thiel’s plans said, though it’s currently unclear whether he would accept.”
Alas, for New Zealand, the mood music is grim. According to our leading Thielologist, Matthew Nippert of the New Zealand Herald, Thiel last year wound down his business interests in the country to almost nothing but the passport.
Why would Citizen Thiel abandon the downunder bosom, swap the land of the hobbits for the land of the Pumas? Is he mad about Rod Drury, one of his referees on his application for citizenship, being awarded New Zealander of the Year before he was? Is he mad about the authorities rejecting his bid to build a spooky lodge in a Queenstown hillside? Is it because Air New Zealand cut back their domestic schedule?
Is it because Christopher Luxon is a mushy mojo-loving liberal? Could Thiel be persuaded to turn his back on Buenos Aires and embrace again the glories of Queenstown if his friend David Seymour became prime minister and grew out his sideburns?
During his time in Argentina, Thiel is reported to have enjoyed playing chess, watching football and discussing the Antichrist at a dinner under candlelight. It is unclear whether the multi-billionaire, who achieved New Zealand citizenship under an “exceptional circumstances” public interest clause after spending 12 days in the country and was dubbed a “fantastic ambassador for New Zealand” by a government minister at the time, ever played chess, watched football or discussed the Antichrist at a dinner under candlelight while here.
Perhaps that is why he has forsaken the land he once called a “utopia”. Come home, Pete. Come home, my Kiwi brother. Return to the land of the long white cloud storage and I pledge this: I shall lose to you at chess with football on the TV and at the same time have a discussion over candlelit dinner about the Antichrist.
