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mindblown

SocietyDecember 16, 2016

Where were you when you discovered the mind-blowing truth about the Canterbury logo?

mindblown

What do you see when you look at the Canterbury logo? If you’re one of the estimated 50% of New Zealanders who are oblivious to its true meaning, sit down, take a deep breath, and prepare to have your world turned upside down. Hayden Donnell reports.

You’ve probably looked at the Canterbury logo thousands of times. Seen the contours of those three Cs adorning legs and chests across New Zealand. They’re as common in shopping malls as on sports fields. The All Blacks once wore them across the front of their jerseys, beside an ad ushering young sports fans into a life of binge drinking.

Sean Fitzpatrick and John Hart know the secret. (Photo by David Rogers/Allsport UK/Getty Images)
Sean Fitzpatrick and John Hart know the secret. (Photo by David Rogers/Allsport UK/Getty Images)

But have you ever really looked at the Canterbury logo?

Truly seen it?

I’m about to tell you something that may destroy the small world you thought you knew.

Are you sitting down?

Are you ready?

There are three kiwis inside the Canterbury clothing logo.

“Wow, you’re the Woodward and Bernstein… of dumbasses,” you’re probably saying. Maybe you’re yelling something like “Big woop, word loser”, or “Nice scoop, Spinoff shit-hack.”

If so, you are one of the intelligentsia. Many New Zealanders don’t see the kiwis. They live their lives oblivious to the birds hiding in plain sight.

I’m 31 years old. I only saw them when they were pointed out to me two weeks ago. It was like I’d been living my life alone in the dark, and suddenly a beam of light had pierced the shadows. The heavy veil shrouding what I’d mistaken for reality fell away. I was seeing as if for the first time.

I’m not alone. Even professional athletes who’ve spent their lives wearing Canterbury are blind to the avian mystery emblazoned on their bodies. Former New Zealand netball representative Bailey Mes only saw the birds in the last days of her teenage years. “I probably would have been about 19 when my life changed forever,” she said.

I inducted Mes into the Order of Journalists and issued an assignment: questioning her Ferns teammates on whether they’d seen the Canterbury kiwis. Two never had: sharp shooter Maria Tutaia and ace defender Kayla Cullen. Mes reported that Cullen muttered “Those sly mofos” at the moment of revelation. Two others – Katrina Grant and Hayley Saunders – admitted they had only gained The Sight late in life.

The rugby community was initially reluctant to own up to its bird blindness. Former All Black Josh Kronfeld said he’d known since he was “about 13”. “Someone pointed it out to me,” he said. Commentator and colleague Scotty Stevenson scoffed at my search.

Former All Black loose forward Adam Thomson provided the breakthrough. Despite having grown up wearing the Canterbury logo in locations including his torso, legs, and arms, he confessed he had never noticed the elusive birds.

In 2016, then Canterbury general manager Dwayne Barrie admitted this confusion has been going on for eons. He said “at a guess” 50% of people fail to see the kiwis. Even his own father had been afflicted by the sightlessness. “I’d been working here 10 years when he came up to me and said ‘Have you ever seen the kiwis in the Canterbury logos?’,” Barrie said. “For a grown man like him – he only noticed when he was 50-odd.”

He sent through pictures from the Canterbury history wall. They revealed illusion had always been at the heart of the Canterbury logo.

The pictures seal it: this was all by design. Enigma was enshrined from the logo’s inception. Canterbury had enacted one of the greatest long-cons in clothing history. It had gleefully indulged in a three-decade campaign of trickery; one that played out on the most public of stages. But the pictures also provided an element of certainty. A single fact that we can all unite around. Whether we see the kiwis or not, we can agree on this: anyone who sees “three rolling New Zealand hills” in the logo is an idiot.

Additional reporting: Madeleine Chapman and Bailey Mes


This story originally appeared on RugbyPass.com

Keep going!
New Zealand Currency Notes.
New Zealand Currency Notes.

SocietyDecember 15, 2016

Finally, after the shitter that was 2016, some good news: For NZ investors and KiwiSavers, things have seldom looked better

New Zealand Currency Notes.
New Zealand Currency Notes.

Things might be very bleak internationally, but as we close out 2016 there are plenty of reasons to be optimistic about our own economic future, as Sam Stubbs explains.

In spite of recent earthquakes, real and political, I’m as bullish on New Zealand’s economic future as I’ve ever been.

Setting aside the deeply troubling social costs, the markets have decided a Trump administration might be tolerable, and possibly beneficial to share prices in the way Reagan was. At home we have quickly returned to long term trends which have been building for awhile now.

New Zealand Currency Notes.

Offshore the environment is very uncertain, but here in godzone, the economy, and investment markets, are now likely to kick into an even higher gear. Here’s why:

1. New Zealand: the safety trade

Low interest rates have forced pension managers overseas to look outside their home markets, to higher risk areas. That includes private equity, venture capital and smaller or emerging markets, like New Zealand.

The amount of money they have to spend on acquisitions globally is truly staggering. In the US alone, there is over $2 trillion  of pension money waiting to invest in anything that looks like it generates cash, or a medium term capital return. That’s over 10% of US GDP. Pension funds are desperate for returns, and are diving into uncharted waters to find them. This is where New Zealand has an almost unique global competitive advantage.

When pension funds seek to invest overseas (something they are usually nervous about), they will find New Zealand a comfortingly familiar place. English language, rule of law, no corruption, high dividend yields – all these will make offshore investors feel more comfortable here than in many other markets.

New Zealand is increasingly seen as an oasis of calm, and an authentic place. By and large it’s very easy to do business with. When those with money want to invest outside their comfort zone, these things really matter.

2. The rise and rise of KiwiSaver

Every week another $10m finds its way into the New Zealand equity market from KiwiSaver, and even more into local fixed interest markets. This is like a rising tide – hard to spot minute by minute, but very powerful long term. All boats rise.

For an example of the long term effects of steady saving, look no further than Australia. One way they survived a collapse in commodity prices was no panic selling in markets. That’s because they knew money steadily arrives into their stock and bond markets, and stays there. That’s happening here too.

New Zealand is slowly becoming a capital-rich economy. As much as we love to romanticise our number eight wire mentality, too many entrepreneurs have gone overseas, or sold out to offshore buyers, for lack of domestic investment capital in NZ. That is about to change, big time.

Disclosure: the author is the managing director of Simplicity, a Kiwisaver provider.

3. A licence to print money

Central banks have now had eight years to change their mindset about printing money to support markets and economies. They used to be fearful of it, and used it only as a last resort, such as following the global financial crisis. Now their attitude is very different.

The fact is, markets are awash with cash and central bankers have, by and large, got comfortable with this. They will raise rates reluctantly, and lower them with ease. And they will now err on the side of printing too much, not too little.

The capital markets know this, and are much less scared of central bankers surprising them than they used to be. They will invest accordingly.

4. Market disruption

The markets are quickly re-adjusting to a methods of raising money which sit outside the restraints that listed markets and traditional institutions can impose.

Whether it’s peer-to-peer lending, crowd funding, or direct investment from private equity funds and angel investors, funding the buying and selling of businesses is easier, and transactions are happening faster. And institutions like banks are getting less and less of the action.

If you have a business to sell, now is a very good time to be thinking about hanging out the ‘for sale’ sign, and exploring other ways to sell your wares.

5. It’s election year

Like or not, the Government is unlikely to be able to resist spending at least some of the surplus to sweeten up the electorate, which will help the economy tick along. Plus, with Bill English safely ensconced in the top job, it’s fair to assume any domestic political earthquakes are over.

What are the risks?

There is always the unknown which, by definition, will hit us by surprise. The recent (real) earthquakes were a salient reminder of that.

Trump is a wildcard. I suspect we have yet to see his true colours, although they are distinctly Russian red so far. The markets hate uncertainty, and he is that personified. Reagan, the other potential wildcard elected in my lifetime, had political experience in Californian politics. Trump has none.

But you can protect investments against the unknown by diversification. For example, Simplicity, the Kiwisaver provider I run, is keeping all its funds in 9,000 different investments in 23 countries. Diversify, diversify, diversify and the surprises will be less painful.

The end game

Over time, all this money finding New Zealand a great place to invest in will lead to buyers paying way too much for some businesses. We haven’t yet seen too many eye popping transactions, but we will. That, in turn, will probably lead to a more severe correction than we would like, some distressed valuations, small panics, and another cycle complete.

When that happens though is anyone’s guess, and it will almost certainly be a surprise. But the fundamentals look very bullish for some time yet.

Sam Stubbs is the managing director of KiwiSaver provider Simplicity.