The 2017 TV Awards: winners, losers and all the shade in between

The TV awards return after five years away and reveal an industry boiling with rage and extremely fun to watch.

Last night, New Zealand television royalty – and The Real Pod – assembled in Skycity Theatre for the triumphant return of the New Zealand Television Awards after a five year hiatus. There was glitz, there was glamour, there was Neil Gussey aka The Beast from season one of My Kitchen Rules NZ taking red carpet shots.

New Zealand Television Awards opening: South Pacific Pictures, the cast and crew of Shortland Street, Alex Tarrant, Andrew Szusterman, Wallace Chapman and one D. Greive

The ceremony wasn’t streamed anywhere because all of the good multi-camera and live event directors were in the room having a bloody beer and a nice time for once, so here are all the winners (spoiler alert: Jean) and losers (spoiler alert: Duncan Greive) from the 2017 NZ TV awards.

Most exciting new supergroup

The Topp Twins took out the Best Presenter: Entertainment award for Topp Country and announced they are working on writing their first feature film, but also how good would this band of TV legends be???

Best shade thrown on the night

Andrew Mulligan and James McOnie skewering The AM Show aka ‘Sexist Breakfast’. “The best thing we [The Crowd Goes Wild] did in 11 years was get rid of Mark Richardson,” before poking fun at segments such as ‘when are you getting pregnant’ and ‘Kmart is for immigrants’.

Best shade thrown the next day

Three had billboards in rotation this morning at the closest sites they could get to TVNZ’s HQ bragging about their wins in the news and current affairs categories – awards they had won in a walkover thanks to the state broadcaster’s mystifying refusal to enter. Three has its swagger back.

Best baby

Annabelle Lee’s baby Waimihia-Rose graced us with her presence for the ceremony, but declined an appearance to be on stage when The Hui took out Best Māori Programme.

Most hated man in the room

The Spinoff’s own Duncan Greive received a consistent and merciless roasting from the opening sketch to the closing acceptance speech from official TV Legend John Barnett. When approached for comment, Greive said “it’s just nice to be acknowledged by the industry”.

Best Jean award for being Jean

Congratulations to Jean for winning a whopper four awards. Fly high, you crazy diamond.

Best exploitation of Jean‘s success for comedy

Kimberly Crossman, who joined the cast for the award and just stayed with the bit throughout the long speeches.

Kim Crossman overcome with emotion after winning

The Hollow Man award for being invisible

The entire TVNZ newsroom was in absentia for the event, which did not go unnoticed. “This is a Newshub conference,” noted Anika Moa during the news awards, the nominees being Kanoa Lloyd (Newshub) Jesse Mulligan (Newshub) and Mike McRoberts (Newshub). “Most of my newsroom isn’t here which is really sad,” said Toni Street, who broke the boycott to accept her Woman’s Day Personality of the Year Award, “I hope, next year, that changes.”

Best slow clap award

This honour goes to TVNZ’s Andrew Shaw as Terry Teo took out the Best Children’s programme, a little over four years after it was commissioned, 16 months after it was unceremoniously dumped online and a year on from its appearance on TV. Terrry Teo was a very deserved winner; the thanks TVNZ execs got much less so.

Best family duo

A stone cold tie between Pua and Robbie Magasiva and John and Kate Hawkesby. The Magasivas easily had the best sibling power struggle at the podium, whereas it was super cool and weird watching, as MC Oliver Driver put it, an insight into the Hawkesby family Christmas. “The wheels have come off since you married Hosking,” said John. “Can I just say that I am not my husband?”

Best continuation of Mate Ma’a Tonga

Mark Malaki-Williams of Sky, who spoke for the entire Kingdom in asking the still very pertinent question: “why didn’t they go upstairs to the TMO?”

Weirdest call of the night

John Hawkesby “Do I really need to know which actor is going into sex rehab?” Yes John, yes we really do.

Best sequin pajamas

Jennifer Ward-Lealand can do absolutely no wrong. Special shout out to Anika Moa for translating her te reo, with crucial phrases including “I’ve got an itchy bum” and later, “Don Brash don’t be racist.”

Best reality check

“Starts with Spongebob, straight into Friends, then into Shortland Street” – my Uber driver on the way home on his own TV-watching habits.

FULL LIST OF WINNERS

Best Drama Series
800 Words 2

Images & Sound Best Feature Drama
Jean

Best Factual Series
Why Am I? – The Science of Us

Best Documentary
Making Good Men

Best Reality Series
Songs from the Inside III Christchurch

Best Lifestyle Programme
Karena & Kasey’s Kitchen Diplomacy

Best Current Affairs Programme
The Politician, The Police and The Payout (Newsroom)

Best Web Series
Loading Docs

Best Children’s Programme
Terry Teo

Best Māori Programme
The Hui

Best Pasifika Programme
#TalesOfTime (The Coconet TV)

Best News Coverage
Kaikoura Earthquake, Newshub Team

Best Sports Programme
Shaun Johnson: Across The Mekong (SKY)

Best Live Event Coverage
International Rugby: All Blacks vs British & Irish Lions 1st Test

Best Comedy or Comedy Entertainment Programme
7 Days

Best Director: Documentary or Factual
Mitchell Hawkes (Born This Way: Awa’s Story)

Best Director: Drama
Robert Sarkies (Jean)

Best Director: Multi Camera
Mitchell Hawkes (Vodafone New Zealand Music Awards 2016)

Best Script: Comedy
Millen Baird & John Argall, Darryl. An Outward Bound Story.

Best Script: Drama
Paula Boock & Donna Malane, Jean

Best Actress
Kate Elliott, Jean

Best Actor
Dean O’Gorman, Hillary

Best Presenter: Entertainment
The Topp Twins, Topp Country Season Two

Woman’s Day Television Personality Of The Year
Toni Street

Best Presenter: News and Current Affairs
Mike McRoberts, Newshub

TV Legend
John Barnett


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