The TV awards return after five years away and reveal an industry boiling with rage and extremely fun to watch.
Last night, New Zealand television royalty – and The Real Pod – assembled in Skycity Theatre for the triumphant return of the New Zealand Television Awards after a five year hiatus. There was glitz, there was glamour, there was Neil Gussey aka The Beast from season one of My Kitchen Rules NZ taking red carpet shots.
New Zealand Television Awards opening: South Pacific Pictures, the cast and crew of Shortland Street, Alex Tarrant, Andrew Szusterman, Wallace Chapman and one D. Greive
The ceremony wasn’t streamed anywhere because all of the good multi-camera and live event directors were in the room having a bloody beer and a nice time for once, so here are all the winners (spoiler alert: Jean) and losers (spoiler alert: Duncan Greive) from the 2017 NZ TV awards.
Most exciting new supergroup
The Topp Twins took out the Best Presenter: Entertainment award for Topp Country and announced they are working on writing their first feature film, but also how good would this band of TV legends be???
Best shade thrown on the night
Andrew Mulligan and James McOnie skewering The AM Show aka ‘Sexist Breakfast’. “The best thing we [The Crowd Goes Wild] did in 11 years was get rid of Mark Richardson,” before poking fun at segments such as ‘when are you getting pregnant’ and ‘Kmart is for immigrants’.
Best shade thrown the next day
Three had billboards in rotation this morning at the closest sites they could get to TVNZ’s HQ bragging about their wins in the news and current affairs categories – awards they had won in a walkover thanks to the state broadcaster’s mystifying refusal to enter. Three has its swagger back.
Annabelle Lee’s baby Waimihia-Rose graced us with her presence for the ceremony, but declined an appearance to be on stage when The Hui took out Best Māori Programme.
Most hated man in the room
The Spinoff’s own Duncan Greive received a consistent and merciless roasting from the opening sketch to the closing acceptance speech from official TV Legend John Barnett. When approached for comment, Greive said “it’s just nice to be acknowledged by the industry”.
Best Jean award for being Jean
Congratulations to Jean for winning a whopper four awards. Fly high, you crazy diamond.
Best exploitation of Jean‘s success for comedy
Kimberly Crossman, who joined the cast for the award and just stayed with the bit throughout the long speeches.
The Hollow Man award for being invisible
The entire TVNZ newsroom was in absentia for the event, which did not go unnoticed. “This is a Newshub conference,” noted Anika Moa during the news awards, the nominees being Kanoa Lloyd (Newshub) Jesse Mulligan (Newshub) and Mike McRoberts (Newshub). “Most of my newsroom isn’t here which is really sad,” said Toni Street, who broke the boycott to accept her Woman’s Day Personality of the Year Award, “I hope, next year, that changes.”
Best slow clap award
This honour goes to TVNZ’s Andrew Shaw as Terry Teo took out the Best Children’s programme, a little over four years after it was commissioned, 16 months after it was unceremoniously dumped online and a year on from its appearance on TV. Terrry Teo was a very deserved winner; the thanks TVNZ execs got much less so.
Best family duo
A stone cold tie between Pua and Robbie Magasiva and John and Kate Hawkesby. The Magasivas easily had the best sibling power struggle at the podium, whereas it was super cool and weird watching, as MC Oliver Driver put it, an insight into the Hawkesby family Christmas. “The wheels have come off since you married Hosking,” said John. “Can I just say that I am not my husband?”
Best continuation of Mate Ma’a Tonga
Mark Malaki-Williams of Sky, who spoke for the entire Kingdom in asking the still very pertinent question: “why didn’t they go upstairs to the TMO?”
Weirdest call of the night
John Hawkesby “Do I really need to know which actor is going into sex rehab?” Yes John, yes we really do.
Best sequin pajamas
Jennifer Ward-Lealand can do absolutely no wrong. Special shout out to Anika Moa for translating her te reo, with crucial phrases including “I’ve got an itchy bum” and later, “Don Brash don’t be racist.”
Best reality check
“Starts with Spongebob, straight into Friends, then into Shortland Street” – my Uber driver on the way home on his own TV-watching habits.
FULL LIST OF WINNERS
Best Drama Series
800 Words 2
Images & Sound Best Feature Drama
Best Factual Series
Why Am I? – The Science of Us
Making Good Men
Best Reality Series
Songs from the Inside III Christchurch
Best Lifestyle Programme
Karena & Kasey’s Kitchen Diplomacy
Best Current Affairs Programme
The Politician, The Police and The Payout (Newsroom)
Best Web Series
Best Children’s Programme
Best Māori Programme
Best Pasifika Programme
#TalesOfTime (The Coconet TV)
Best News Coverage
Kaikoura Earthquake, Newshub Team
Best Sports Programme
Shaun Johnson: Across The Mekong (SKY)
Best Live Event Coverage
International Rugby: All Blacks vs British & Irish Lions 1st Test
Best Comedy or Comedy Entertainment Programme
Best Director: Documentary or Factual
Mitchell Hawkes (Born This Way: Awa’s Story)
Best Director: Drama
Robert Sarkies (Jean)
Best Director: Multi Camera
Mitchell Hawkes (Vodafone New Zealand Music Awards 2016)
Best Script: Comedy
Millen Baird & John Argall, Darryl. An Outward Bound Story.
Best Script: Drama
Paula Boock & Donna Malane, Jean
Kate Elliott, Jean
Dean O’Gorman, Hillary
Best Presenter: Entertainment
The Topp Twins, Topp Country Season Two
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Woman’s Day Television Personality Of The Year
Best Presenter: News and Current Affairs
Mike McRoberts, Newshub
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