Remember when that rugby player hugged a toilet?

The weirdest and most wonderful Kiwi celebrity endorsements

Stan Walker just made Postie (nee Plus) cool again, but he’s not the first celeb brand ambassador to raise our collective eyebrows. Tara Ward takes a trip down New Zealand’s weird and wonderful celebrity endorsement highway.

It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, and Postie (nee Plus) wants to thank us for buying a shitload of pants, socks and affordable merino essentials. “For 110 years you’ve been there for us,” they say, “and for that we thank you. Thx NZ!”

Photo: Postie Plus

Who better to personally thank us than Stan Walker? He’s the face of the new ‘THX NZ’ campaign, which sees him standing on a beach at sunset, looking moodily into the distance. It’s pretty snazzy for Postie Plus, but the same thing happened to Big Save Lily when she went all cool and styley, and I was worried she was being held hostage. All I’m saying is, if you ever sees Stan Walker stuck to a leather armchair in the middle of some sand dunes, send for help.

We bloody love an unlikely celeb endorsement in New Zealand, so let’s go back through the sands of time to relive some of our most weird and wonderful brand partnerships.

Jude Dobson for Postie Plus

See how far they’ve come? Stan Walker better thank Jude Dobson for this ‘90s Postie Plus campaign, which features the catchiest jingle this side of the Novus crack. It’s a tune so strong that had Jude danced to it on DWTSNZ, Julz would’ve leapt onto the desk screaming “I LOVE FAMILY VALUE AND ORDERING FROM THE CATALOGUE TOO, BABY!”

I mean, Imagine if DWTSNZ Trio Week featured Jude, Julz and Stan, each dressed head to toe in Postie Plus? I shed a tear for what might have been.

John Rowles for Gerrard Roofs

Is this New Zealand’s most perfect celebrity endorsement? The answer is g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-yes. This has it all: a celebrity with a mullet, an unexpected key change, and a cute kid going nuts for her new Mediterranean-look roof. I can’t stop watching. I can’t stop singing. John! That’s a great roof! John! I think I love you!

Alison Holst and her sausage rolls

“This is the one I recommend,” Alison says, and that’s all we need to know about that.

Steve Hansen loves Arnotts Biscuits

Hold on to both your Tim Tams and your jim jams, because this is taking biscuits too far. The moral of the Apocolypse is “never, ever, lose your biscuit”, but whoa there Bikie Steve, haven’t you seen that Gerard Roof ad? It made me spray my Shapes all over the room.

Jamie Oliver goes gaga over Pam’s tinned tomatoes

He went to the wrong house, what a plonker.

Keith Quinn for Cigna Funeral Insurance

Death is less depressing once you’ve bought Cigna Funeral Cover, because every package guarantees Keith Quinn will personally commentate your funeral. From the national anthems to the oranges at half time, Keith’s got the whole shebang covered. Whatever happens, rugby will be the winner on the day.

Judy Bailey and the Samsung Fridge

The mother of the nation is back, with a fridge so clever it has a Paul Henry alarm. My fridge doesn’t even keep my milk cold. Life is funny, sometimes. Still, extra points for the way Paul Henry says her name at the end: “Judeeeeee-UGH”.

Kieran Read hugs a loo

For real, how heavy is that toilet?

Loves a toilet, loves a healthy mouth, loves reading you a bedtime story. Kieran Read/Kieran reads, it’s so genius I might just up and lose my biscuit.

Rachel Hunter for Uber Eats

Listen, Rachel Hunter is a perfect angel sent from TV heaven and if she wants to eat Hells Pizza sitting in a festering spa pool with Dai Henwood, then it’s fine by me. Chuck her an Alison Holst sausage roll while she’s in there and finish the night off with a couple of Arnotts Mint Slice, happy days.

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Richie McCaw for everything

If you’ve got something to endorse, your old mate Richie will do it.

How do we love Richie McCaw? Let me count the ways. We love him by his tumeric supplements that he swallows with his Fonterra milk while he’s listening to his fancy earphones and watching his garage door go up and down. He’s versatile, our Richie, and the finest actor we’ve ever known.

Stephen Fleming and his Fujitsu heat pump

Are you Mum, Steve? Are you?

But when are we going to eat, Stephen?!


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