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A feast for the eyes. (Photo: Daniel Medini)
A feast for the eyes. (Photo: Daniel Medini)

Pop CultureMay 25, 2021

The Masked Singer NZ power rankings: We’re up all night to get lucky

Staff writer
A feast for the eyes. (Photo: Daniel Medini)
A feast for the eyes. (Photo: Daniel Medini)

Who was it, who was it, who was it underneath the mask in episodes five and six? 

Welcome to week three of The Masked Singer NZ, where dreams are free and sheep wear leather jackets even when it’s hot. This week two more brave celebrities had their true identities revealed, the judges clapped in time, and the top six creatures warbled their way into the next round, proving fish do have feelings and pavlovas enjoy sex and being on fire. No, it’s not getting any less weird, so let’s knock the head off these rankings and expose the hidden secrets beneath.

Eliminated: Orange Roughy – Mike McRoberts

Breaking news.

Judge guesses: Glen Osborne / Keith Urban / Robbie Magasiva / Zac Franich

Song: ‘Catching Feelings’ by Drax Project

The saddest fish in the world just got a little bit sadder, and watching Newshub’s Mike “owner of NZ’s favourite abs” McRoberts take off his big fish head cut me right to my fishy core. As Mike belted out ‘Catching Feelings’, his orange gloves caught the light and the high notes hit our hearts and suddenly it was the news, it was the weather, it was Super Sports Sunday, all in one. “Turn it up,” Rhys Darby said, but it was up as far as it could go. Goodnight, Mike McRoughy. I liked your colourful hem. 

Eliminated: Possum – Grace Palmer

Even the pixels on our computers were surprised.

Judge guesses: Grace Palmer / Michelle A’Court / Lily McManus / Stacey Morrison

Song: ‘Holding Out for a Hero’ by Bonnie Tyler

Life is cruel, especially for possums. In Australia they’re revered and protected, but in New Zealand, we make them lip-synch on national television for nothing more than “an incredible experience” and “a fun time”. Fun is overrated, and Possum was robbed. Sharyn reckoned it was the best vocal performance they’d seen (obviously haven’t heard me singing “who is it, who is it, who is it UNDERNEEAATTTH THE MAAASK” into the mirror after three wines and a cheeseboard, but it’s fine), and yet, to send big boss poss home? A travesty. 

6) Tuatara

Turn around, bright eyes.

Judge guesses: Benny Tipene / Simon Bridges / A Finn Brother / Ben Lummis

The Spinoff guess: Ken Barlow

Song: ‘The Shape of You’ by Ed Sheeran

Tuatara is an absolute beast of a singer, and who’s to say it’s not Coronation Street’s Ken Barlow? He’s got a lovely voice. He likes a competition, and he was born to be an assassin. Fight me, we know the truth. 

5) Medusa

Michelle, is that you?

Judge guesses: Meg Annear / Anna Paquin / Lisa Tomlins, backing singer for LAB / Michelle Visage 

The Spinoff guess: Briscoes Lady

Song: ‘Don’t Start Now’ by Dua Lipa

We can only pray that this is Michelle Visage, because can you imagine? Also, let’s salute Ladi6 for guessing the LAB back-up singers for the third consecutive week, because this is exactly the persistence that a competition featuring a dancing fish and an oversized one-eyed monster needs.

4) Monster

King of men.

Judge guesses: Caleb Clarke / Mike King / Joseph Parker / Troy Kingi or Kings

The Spinoff guess: King’s Plant Barn, everything you need

Song: ‘Bad Guy’ by Billie Eillish

Monster is used to being on top and being treated like royalty, but so was Sir Edmund Hillary, and you never saw him dressed up as a monster dancing to Billie Eillish, did you? Maybe you did, who’s to know. 

3) Sheep

Baaaaa.

Judge guesses: Temuera Morrison / Oscar Kightley / Niko or Matiu Walters / Temuera Morrison

The Spinoff guess: Julian Dennison

Song: ‘Get Lucky’ by Daft Punk

In the immortal words of Rhys Darby, “this could be anyone”. It’s hard to think of a famous person who feels at home in Aotearoa, had a fiery childhood, and who you have to be at your best to hunt down, because frankly New Zealand, we’re not at our best. We’re spending two nights a week obsessing over which celebrity is singing the words “I’m up all night to get lucky” while dressed as a giant sheep. This is as lucky as we’re going to get. 

2) Pavlova

Never stop dancing, Pav.

Judges guess: Kimberley Crossman / Claire Chitham / Jodie Rimmer / Robyn Malcolm

The Spinoff guess: A Shortland Street Christmas cliffhanger

Song: ‘Sex on Fire’ by Kings of Leon

Pavlova delivered the Sunday night family classic ‘Sex on Fire’, because pavlovas and sex go together like peas and carrots. This week’s clues suggested Pavlova used to be on TV after dinner, and that she was extra scary at Christmas time. Remember when Chris Warner sang ‘Anchor Me’ while a bomb exploded at his bach during a Shortland Street Christmas cliffhanger? Sex was on fire, and so was his deck. Kaboom! Keep up the good work, Pav. 

1) Jellyfish

Wibble wobble, wibble wobble, Jellyfish on a plate.

Judges guess: Golriz Ghahraman / Chlöe Swarbrick / Esther Stephens / Hayley Sproull

The Spinoff guess: Matilda Green

Song: ‘Suffer’ by Charlie Puth

More Reading

“Aargh,” said Sharyn when she tried to guess Jellyfish’s true identity, and never a truer word was spoken. We got a “green” clue this week and one about painting, so could it be anyone other than Art Green’s beloved Matootles? Most probably. 

Follow The Spinoff’s reality TV podcast The Real Pod on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favourite podcast provider.

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The Circus

Pop CultureMay 24, 2021

Bravo’s new Kiwi reality show wants you to join The Circus

Staff writer
The Circus

Life really is a circus for the stars of Bravo New Zealand’s new reality series. 

The Webers consider themselves an ordinary family, but to viewers, they seem anything but. The stars of Bravo New Zealand’s new reality show are a family of 10 who live and work together, travelling the world to entertain audiences with their famous Weber Bros. circus show. Parents Marie and Harry (a seventh generation circus performer) run the circus operations, while their four eldest children Kiarrna, Kaleah, Dylan and Dalton perform in the show. 

The Circus follows the Weber family as they begin a 10 week show run in Auckland. By day, the Webers enjoy a glamorous lifestyle of television appearances and superyacht parties, and by night, they perform death-defying circus stunts. It’s a slickly made Bravo reality show that feels a bit like a Kiwi version of The Kardashians, but with someone being fired out of a cannon every night. 

Filming for The Circus began in November last year, and the second season recently finished filming in Queenstown. It’s an unusual achievement for a New Zealand reality show to produce a second season before the first has gone to air, which suggests there’s plenty of action hiding inside the tent. Having already launched a YouTube channel about her family’s life, mum Marie knew the behind-the-scenes drama of a family circus would be perfect for a reality TV show.

“There’s always something happening,” Marie says. In the debut episode, performers leave before opening night, new acts are thrown in at the last minute, and the organised chaos of running a travelling circus never quite goes to plan. Whatever happens, the show must go on. “People are going to see the hard work that goes into the show, but at the same time see the glamour that goes with being on stage,” Marie says. 

Kiarnna (far left), Marie (middle) and Kaleah (far right) with their father Harry and brothers Dylan and Dalton (Photo: Bravo New Zealand).

As well as following the Webers, The Circus introduces viewers to memorable characters like Puerto Rican stuntman Martin, who does everything from driving trucks to performing on the trapeze. Marie considers her employees as extended whānau. “The circus is a very multicultural society,” she says. “We have many people from many different countries, and we all come together.” 

Eldest daughter Kiarnna agrees. “That’s what makes this show so amazing. It’s not just about our family, it’s about the 50 other people around us that live with us day to day. There’s so many storylines that come from that.” Like any family, the Webers have their moments. “I think when we get sick of each other, we go to our own rooms and don’t see each other for a few hours, until we need food. And then we’re best friends,” says daughter Kaleah.

Kaleah and Kiarnna Weber (Photo: Bravo New Zealand).

The Circus also gives an insight into the appeal of a modern circus, with Weber Bros. relying on spectacular physical performances and high-risk stunts to entertain the audience. “It’s evolved over time, and we’re just catering to what people want to see,” Kiarnna says, and acknowledges her work isn’t without risk. “I stand inside the Globe of Death, and that’s a really dangerous act. They’re riding around on motorbikes in this tiny little metal cage, so you expect [dangerous] things to happen. You try to prevent them, but it’s a part of the risk of the job.” 

Circus life isn’t all hard work, and the series captures the Webers’ glamorous lifestyle away from the big top. Marie says the helicopter rides and superyachts aren’t just a bonus of appearing on a Bravo TV show. “We travel around and work very hard, so if we can enjoy the luxuries of being able to go to all these different towns, then we do that as well,” she says. “It’s not just my kids and my family, but our whole circus family, we like to treat them to fun things as well.”

The Webers go full glam (Photo: Bravo New Zealand).

It’s a unique way of life for the Webers, one that is now broadcast nationwide on Saturday nights. “We think our family is ordinary because that’s all we know. We know normal life too, but what we do day to day is circus,” Kiarnna says. “I think what’s going to draw people in is seeing how our family interact with each other and how the whole circus is one big family, and that there’s so much to offer, from doing tent work to partying on yachts to helicopter rides. We really get a variety of everything.” Like a stuntman flying out of a cannon, The Circus promises an unpredictable ride. 

The Circus premiered on Bravo on Saturday 22 May and is on Three Now. 

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