UncategorizedJune 2, 2016

This week I played: Killer Panda vs Bushido Bear

Contributing writer

Bears, bears, bears; Joseph Harper’s phone hosts a fight to death between two games based on and around the terrifying caniforms.

Weirdly, I happened to download two games for my phone last week that feature murderous bear-type characters. The first is Killer Panda. It’s an infinite scrolling thing where you jump over very small concrete blocks, slide under signs, and slash enemies to death like crazy. The other is Bushido Bear. You draw lines and a little bear with a sword runs along it and slices enemies up.

The obvious question then is WHICH OF THESE BEAR BATTLER IPHONE GAMES IS SUPERIOR!? (Also, Is a Panda even a bear?)

KILLER PANDA

Killer Panda was made by the genius devs who made the best game of all time (Neko Atsume). It hold the honour of being pretty much the only game my girlfriend has enjoyed playing. If you can appeal to even the most stringent anti-gamer among us, you must be doing something right.

The game is really simple. You play some kind of Panda who is also a ninja. You run through the night is a post-Viewtiful Joe landscape and avoid obstacles, racking up points and filling up this ‘moon meter’ thing. Once the ‘moon meter’ is filled up you go into a panda-core berserker rage and rampage for a little bit. You don’t have to dodge obstacles any more. You just waste everything. It’s actually hard to fill the ‘moon meter’ up so when you manager to go into the berserker rage, it’s quite satisfying.

It was immediately quite fun, but as I continued playing never felt like I was getting better. Thus I stopped playing it after a few days and have no will to revisit it. Neko Atsume, this ain’t.

BUSHIDO BEAR

Bushido Bear makes a star out of its stubby, ninja protagonists. It takes a while to get used to the game mechanics (swiftly rubbing lines using your finger). Playing this reminded me of the parts I hate about Yo-Kai watch. Games like Fruit Ninja are fun because your slashing doesn’t require and hyper-accurate technique. It allows for chubby fingers on a tiny screen. This game is super anal in this regard and if your line-technique is even a little off, you’re screwed. I always enjoy a character unlock feature and I will concede that some of these bears are cute af. But really I couldn’t be stuffed getting beyond the first few bear levels.

THE WINNER

Honestly, both of these games are pretty bad. But Killer Panda was slightly more playable. So, advantage Panda I guess. Also maybe both of these games are a bit racist? Either way I would not recommend either. Stick to cat games.

Keep going!

UncategorizedMay 4, 2016

Raw: Rod McGeoch’s full statement regarding the resignation of Mark Weldon

The Spinoff

Staff writers

A MediaWorks source has supplied company Chair Rod McGeoch’s full statement announcing the resignation of CEO Mark Weldon (Click here to read The Spinoff’s report on the ultimately successful plot to oust him):

THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM ROD MCGEOCH
Dear all,

Today we are announcing that Mark Weldon has resigned from his position as CEO.

The Board has accepted Mark’s resignation and respects his decision.

Mark Weldon commented: “I wish to share the news that, last night, I notified the Chairman of MediaWorks of my resignation from my role as CEO.

“When I joined MediaWorks in August, 2014, I had a clear mandate to lead a significant change programme to bring the business back from receivership into a position where it could once again be a strong competitor in the market, with a sound and sustainable future. It was a big brief, laden with inherent challenges, but I took it in good faith and have dedicated myself fully to the goal since.

“I have had the full support of my Board for the strategy that we have executed at every point.

“We have made significant progress as a business. Yesterday I shared with staff that in our profit growth, we have hit our Q1 targets and that, overall, audiences are growing and innovative strategies such as the introduction of Newshub have been well received and are delivering results. Yesterday, we announced a major Joint Venture deal with NBC, the first of its kind outside of the United States.

“However, I have come to a decision that the personal cost is now too high to continue in this role.

“I feel confident that I will be leaving behind a much stronger business than existed when I arrived, and hope the next chapter for MediaWorks will further strengthen the business and ensure New Zealanders continue to enjoy what it has to offer.”

The Board is very grateful for Mark’s success in driving change through the organisation and under his leadership MediaWorks has truly become an integrated company. Mark has agreed to assist the Board on strategic projects and we would like to thank him for his efforts and successes.

The company will immediately start a search for a CEO. In the interim, MediaWorks’ CFO, David Chalmers will act as CEO.

I want to assure you all that the Board has complete confidence that as a team we will continue our momentum and growth and would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for your dedication and support of the company. I also want to assure the company and its stakeholders that the strategy initiated by Mark will continue.

Kind Regards,

Rod