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All the books in this year’s Book Awards for Children and Young Adults. Image: Tina Tiller.
All the books in this year’s Book Awards for Children and Young Adults. Image: Tina Tiller.

BooksAugust 14, 2024

Live updates from the 2024 NZ Book Awards for Children and Young Adults

All the books in this year’s Book Awards for Children and Young Adults. Image: Tina Tiller.
All the books in this year’s Book Awards for Children and Young Adults. Image: Tina Tiller.

Live updates from this year’s awards from books editor Claire Mabey.

Welcome to our annual celebration of Aotearoa’s children’s writers! Stay tuned for all the winning news as well as the inside scoop on the fashion, the catering, and the speeches. If you need a refresh on who’s up for awards tonight, check out the finalists on The Spinoff here.

Aug 14 2024

Final notes including go buy books now please

Final thoughts:

  1. Penguin Random House NZ had a smashing night with a bunch of winners including Nine Girls by Stacy Gregg.
  2. Did you know about BookHub? You can go there and order all of tonight’s book from your local indie bookshop.
  3. Refresh yourself on all of tonight’s winners over at the Book Awards Trust website (winners will be up there soon).
  4. If you’re an adult that needs an adventure, some love, support, fresh thinking then these books are for you, too.

The tunes have started back up now (Slice of Heaven) which is my queue to go eat some HELL pizza.

Yours in books!

Stacy Gregg wins the Margaret Mahy Book of the Year for Nine Girls

There will be parades in Ngāruawāhia! This is huge year for junior fiction and Gregg is a standout star and supreme winner for 2024!

Gregg was super emotional as she talked about her tīpuna and whānau and how writing this story was getting back to her maunga. She honoured her mum who has passed and said the award is for her.

Not a dry in the room.

Gregg now wins an extra $8500 on top of her earlier win (the Esther Glen for Junior Fiction, scroll down). The judges described Nine Girls as “a taonga from a masterful storyteller”. Convenor of judges, Maia Bennett said: “After careful deliberation, both judging panels came to a unanimous decision on a book that not only exemplifies the highest standards, but that we believe will make a lasting contribution to Aotearoa’s national literature for children and young adults; and as such, deserves the accolade of supreme winner.”

The 2024 Margaret Mahy book of the year.

Tsunami by Ned Wenlock wins best first book!

Stoked for Wenlock who gets a lovely windfall of $2500 for his amazing graphic novel published by New Zealand’s best publishers of graphic novels, Earth’s End Publishing (truly amazing books, see them all on the website).

Wenlock also didn’t expect to win but did write a speech: he thanked the legends at Earth’s End, and Creative NZ for their support. He thanked the judges and then it was over. Nicely short and sweet.

The judges said Wenlock’s Tsunami is an exemplary graphic novel: that it seamlessly reflects the themes of alienation and the need for connection. They also said it honoured the reader’s ability to delve into complex issues and it will be a book discussed for a long time to come.

Toby Morris did an in-depth interview with Wenlock about Tsunami on The Spinoff if you want to find out more about this stunning piece of art.

Tsunami, Ned Wenlock’s new graphic novel (Image design: Archi Banal)

Tiny interlude

To say apologies for typos if you are unlucky enough to have to wade through them before I’ve fixed them. My eyes feel like eggs and my bladder is fuller than Dolly Parton’s best bra.

Not much longer to go now… two more awards to go!

And the Wright Family Foundation Te Kura Pounamu Award for te reo Māori goes to…

Fist pumps and yells from the crowd for Nani Jo me ngā Mokopuna Porohīanga, Moira Wairama, illustrated by Margaret Tolland (published by Baggage Books)!

The judges said that this category is about enticing young readers into books to explore language; and that all the finalists were books that can be enjoyed both by whānau and by tamariki on their own steam. Of Wairama and Tolland’s winning pukapuka they said this book is a beautifully written story that opens with childlike bubbly energy; that it uses inclusive language to convey the significance of stories, their role in helping us make sense of our world, and the importance of poroporoaki to the grieving process.

Sidenote: There’s a lovely interview with Wairama and Tolland on The Sapling; and a bilingual review on ReadNZ here

Patu by Gavin Bishop wins the Russell Clark Award for Illustration

Bishop (Tainui, Ngāti Awa) said he was shaken to win because he didn’t really want to do this book. He was asked by his publisher to consider it (Penguin), and told them he didn’t know anything about the land wars. But Penguin lured him in by saying he’d be allowed to have “three gate folds” (which is like a three-part page that opens out – lush as). Bishop then told this story about how he really got into the subject. It was a mountain of work, he said. And not just by him, but also by his amazing designers  who “squeezed the text into impossible places’. Bishop heartily thanked Penguin for pushing it to be the best possible book (“they were still fiddling the morning it had to go to print”). He also thanked Russell Clark who was Bishop’s lecturer and encouraged him to keep on with illustration.

Go the Bish!

Ultrawild by Steve Mushin wins the Elsie Locke Award for Nonfiction!

YUSS! This was my pick this year. This book is like nothing else I’ve ever seen: one of those rare things that bridges child and adult minds with its depth and refusal to simplify complex ideas. It’s a dream of a better, greener world that actually could happen if we harness the tech available to us and our own powers of invention.

Mushin also didn’t prep a speech but told a yarn about how the book came about. Initially he had a year and cockily said “I could do it in two weeks”… eight years later. He said the book is, for him, about a concept that we don’t talk enough about: that “rewilding” has an incredible power that has obsessed him [if you don’t believe him, again, get the book it’s mind-melting]. He thanked the scientific community who helped him along the way; Elsie Locke and her epic legacy; and Allen & Unwin for their very, very long leash.

Steve Mushin is a bookish thought leader and I’m delighted that his mahi is being recognised. Check out Mushin’s brilliant essay on The Spinoff to get a sense of the real-world inventions that are already helping the planet to let the wild back in.

Eileen Merriman wins the YA Award for Catch a Falling Star

In charming and mildly chaotic style, Merriman didn’t write a speech because she’s been shortlisted six times and didn’t think she’d win. She told a charming speech of how she left her husband to domestic carnage back home that very morning (something about dead mice or something); and how happy she is that it’s this book about mental illness that has won her the award because it means a lot to her. She was emotional when talking about her lead character who “got her heart”. Merriman also thanked Penguin NZ and Harriet Allan (former Penguin edtior, champion and advocate).

The judges said that Merriman’s novel is a masterpiece with a complex and endearing lead character. They said it’s a remarkably authentic portrayal of escalating problems; that it’s significant for teens today who can relate to this story and be helped by it.

Sidenote: Eileen Merriman is so prolific that I had to ask her to tell us how she does it (her “how I write so much” is on The Spinoff here).

 

Over 14 million books read thanks to the HELL reading challenge

Short interlude to hear from HELL’s CEO Josh Drake who told us that over 14 million books have been read by kids in Aotearoa because of the HELL reading challenge (more about it further down the blog, first post).

Get thee all to HELL! What a triumphant and brilliant way to get kids into reading through their greedy little tummies. Love your work Drake and team.

Stacy Gregg’s Nine Girls wins the Esther Glen Award for Junior Fiction!

I could not call this one! Delighted for Nine Girls and Stacy Gregg. Known for her massively successful pony books, Gregg (Ngāti Mahuta, Ngāti Pūkeko, Ngāti Maru Hauraki) is now author of the best junior fiction novel of 2024 for her stunning novel, a coming of age story about buried treasure, and belonging, set in Ngāruawāhia.

The Wright Family Foundation Esther Glen Award for Junior Fiction comes with $8500. The judges said it was vivid and well developed, fast paced and eventful. They also said it explored our bi-cultural history and was affirming and profound.

Gregg spoke in te reo Māori and mihi’d to her whānau, organisers, judges, Claire Murdoch (now departed from Penguin NZ, Gregg’s publisher) and other writers (my reo is not good enough to have caught everything of Gregg’s brilliance, sincere apologies!). She ended with a waiata honouring pukapuka. Congratulations Stacy!

Paku Manu Ariki Whakatakapōkai wins picture book of the year!

Congratulations Michaela Keeble (writer) and Tokerau Brown (illustrator)! This book was a hard one to beat: the voice, the energy, the depth. The poetry!

In a super tough category (there were 59 entries; and the finalists included Dazzlehands by Sacha Cotter and illustrated by Josh Morgan also in this one and such a book; as well as legendary Ruth Paul with Hatch & Match; and the GOAT Joy Cowley’s At the Bach) this magical, and unique book got the judges by the heartstrings and rightfully so.

Keeble and Brown win $8500 for this gorgeous, poetic collaboration. The pair walked to stage to a GROOVY live sting from local secondary school students (may I add that Brown and Keeble looked straight off the cover of Vogue – Brown in a beautiful long line coat and collarless shirt; Keeble in a bright pink fur (vegan)).

CRYING again at the speeches. Sorry for all caps there is adrenaline pouring out of me. Keeble acknowledged the three grandmothers the book is ode to; and acknowledged the political situation we’re currently in and said their book is an offering to all of the parents raising kids under the mantle of Te Tiriti o Waitangi. Brown said how proud he is of the book and dedicated it to his late friend Reina Sutton, an advocate for the arts, who tragically passed away. He also thanked all Cook Island peoples, Māori and Pasifika artists; his darling partner Coco Solid; all the artists he’s lived and breathed with; his dearly departed father; and his living mother who always encourages his art.

Congratulations to publisher Gecko Press who always put out curiously brilliant books for families. You can read an interview with Keeble, about the book, on The Spinoff here.

I’m crying already

They went and played a video montage of kids with all the books and they’re so cute and funny. It’s too early to be quietly weeping but this is what it’s all about. Going to have a mop up before the categories start …

Bump in sales for our finalists thanks to the awards campaign

The ever-glamorous and elegant Nicola Legat (chair of the Book Awards Trust) also talked about stiff economic times and how the Trust is committed to getting these books sold as well as celebrated.

Behind Legat on the big screen was a suite of beautiful bright posters that are helping to boost sales and recognition in shops all over the country. Thanks to Gemma Finlay (another of my desk buddies) and her publicity work; and the social media campaign; the Books Alive programme (scroll down in this blog to read about that); as well as the marketing there has been a bump in sales for all of the finalists. YAY.

Go buy our NZ children’s books!

The stage for tonight; feat Nicola Legat and the great posters for the awards this year.

A sad moment too, as Legat honoured Chloe Wright who sadly died last year. The Wright Family Foundation are a key sponsor of the awards. Legat thanks all of the many many partners and supporters who make this whole thing happen. Too many to type but check them out online here at the awards website.

Stephen Wainwright from Creative New Zealand said a speech

After a beautiful mihi whakatau from Peter Samuel Jackson and moving and enthusiastic welcome from emcee Jase Te Patu (“books enrich the existence of children” is going on a tea towel), outgoing CEO of CNZ, Stephen Wainwright gave a speech.

First some recent context: Yesterday (13 August), CNZ had to let down a huge swath of arts organisations in New Zealand because their latest fund was so oversubscribed. Many got nothing (longstanding organisations that have been working for the grassroots for ages) and others got a fraction of their needs. It’s getting extremely tight out there for the arts.

Wainwright thanked Nicola Legat and the Book Awards Trust for the opportunity to speak and for their epic work [tautoko – they’re a magnificent group who lift up our writers year after year]. He talked about how we can all recall the books that impacted us when we were wee and how tonight’s books will do the same thing for kids today. “In a world that is cluttered with stories from overseas,” he said, “and distractions from social media, we need more than ever stories that we can relate to here in Aotearoa.” Wainwright then talked about how CNZ has info on its website that there’s evidence that reading is essential for young people; he also pointed out that reading enjoyment has been reported as more important for a child’s success than a family’s economic status.

He reminded us all that there were 175 entries this year which is a record; and reminded us that it is indeed a challenging economic time for the industry and then said congratulations to all the night’s finalists and all the communities that helped them get here.

And here’s a picture of Pipitea Marae

Which shows how truly lovely it is and how actually calm and spring like the city is tonight.

The music has just switched into Bridgerton mode and is playing Viva La Vida, string style. Suspect this is the final tune before the show begins.

Pipitea Marae.

Once upon a calm evening in Te Whanganui-a-tara…

The people are arriving to the lovely Piptea Marae. I’ve already talked to Tania Roxborogh, Michaela Keeble and Rachael King and spied 1000 other writers but had to duck away to find my spot at the back of the room.

The atmosphere is lively, a little tense, nerves and snacks! There’s a sweet classical music group playing extremely dramatic music which is adding a flair reminiscent of the TV show Wednesday. Which I approve of.

And here is my desk buddy Mitch from Tungsten Projects who is masterminding the slide show. The most important job of the night because if you fuck it up you can reveal the winners TOO EARLY. I believe in Mitch.

Mitch has the most stressful job in the world but he looks really cool about it.

The stakes for tonight and the people that make it all happen

These are the seven categories: Picture Book, Junior Fiction (the Wright Family Foundation Esther Glen Award), Young Adult Fiction, Non-Fiction (the Elsie Locke Award), Illustration (the Russell Clark Award), te reo Māori (the Wright Family Foundation Te Kura Pounamu Award) and Best First Book (The NZSA Award). The main category awards carry prize money of $8,500 and the Best First Book winner receives $2,500. The overall prize, the Margaret Mahy Book of the Year Award, carries a further prize of $8,500. A reminder that all of the finalists are listed on The Spinoff here.

The judges for 2024 are: Convenor of judges Maia Bennett (Ngāti Kahungunu, Ngāti Whakaue, Ngāti Pikiao, Ngāti Tūwharetoa), a public and secondary school librarian in Wānaka; Belinda Whyte, the Resource Teacher of Literacy for the Horowhenua region; Helen Wadsworth, co-owner of The Dorothy Butler Children’s Bookshop in Tāmaki Makaurau; Kitty Brown (Kāi Tahu, Waitaha, Kāti Mamoe, Ngāti Kahungunu), an award-winning author from Ōtepoti; and Mat Tait (Ngāti Apa ki te Rā Tō, Rangitāne o Wairau, Ngāti Kuia), a freelance artist, illustrator, writer and te reo Māori tutor based in the Motueka area.

There’s a separate panel specially appointed to judge te reo Māori entries: Convenor Lawren Matrix (Tūhoe), the Whānau Learning Specialist for Auckland Council Libraries; Mihi Te Rina Henare (Ngāti Hine, Ngāti Porou, Te Whānau-ā Apanui), an Assistant Support Archivist at Archives New Zealand; Quintin Te Maari (Ngāti Porou, Tūhoe, Ngāti Kahungunu ki Wairarapa), who is currently undertaking teacher training; and Mat Tait, who also brings his knowledge and experience to the Te Kura Pounamu panel.

The awards are governed by the New Zealand Book Awards Trust Te Ohu Tiaki i Te Rau Hiringa. Current members of the Trust are Nicola Legat (chair), Rachael King, Richard Pamatatau, Garth Biggs, Melinda Szymanik, Renēe Rowland, Laura Caygill, and Suzy Maddox. The Trust also governs the Ockham New Zealand Book Awards and Phantom Billstickers National Poetry Day.

Thanks to all for your efforts and expertise. Now we wait for the games to begin..

First, a bit about HELL

A real undersung hero of this whole awards operation is the HELL Reading Challenge, which has been running for over a decade. Children get ‘pizza wheels’ that gets stamped for every book they read (one book per slice). Once all seven slices are stamped they can take their wheel into HELL to get a free pizza. Last year almost 850 schools and libraries took part in the programme and 325,000 pizza wheels were distributed, leading to an estimated 2,275,000 books read. The 2024 challenge is already on track to surpass last year’s impressive results with over 290,000 pizza wheels already sent out.

It’s an inventive gamification that libraries and teachers say has helped hook kids into books and I think it’s brilliant.

Shout out also to the amazing Books Alive programme (supported by Mātātuhi Foundation) of events with the award’s finalists. On  Wednesday 7 August; and then on 9 August Invercargill school children were entertained by a bunch of authors and illustrators; and on 9 August WORD Christchurch hosted a selection of finalist’s at Haeata Community Campus in Ōtautahi. Earlier today Wellington hundreds of school students converged on the National Library of New Zealand Te Puna Mātauranga o Aotearoa and Te Whare Pukapuka o Waitohi in Johnsonville, Wellington City Libraries programmed over 20 finalists in a varied
schedule that included behind-the-book talks, workshops on writing and illustration, lightning talk sessions, storytelling, and live drawing.

No further entries.
Keep going!
Photo: Rubberball/Getty Images
Photo: Rubberball/Getty Images

BooksAugust 14, 2024

Why so many women get screwed in divorce

Photo: Rubberball/Getty Images
Photo: Rubberball/Getty Images

Sarah Catherall’s just-published book, How to Break Up Well, is a guide to divorce based on the author’s own experience, accounts from others, and advice from experts. The following excerpt is from chapter eight: ‘Why so many women get screwed’.

Breaking up is expensive. Suddenly the house (if there is one) has to be divided, other assets split, and it costs more to run two households rather than one. I’m one of the privileged few who could stay in the family home, take my kids on holiday, and even keep my nanny on the days I worked. 

But my situation is atypical – divorced and separated women are more likely to be worse-off financially once the relationship ends. It’s costly enough to run two households, but once the assets are divided up (if there are any), the woman is more likely to be running a household on a reduced income – often because she has taken time out from her job to raise the kids. It’s called “the motherhood penalty”, where a woman has worked in paid employment only part-time or not at all while the children have been young, while her partner has soared up the career ladder. 

It’s pretty common that the person who has the higher earning capacity recovers more quickly from a separation than the one who doesn’t. 

The findings of a study by Professor Michael Fletcher are revealing, and likely to remain true. As summarised in an AUT News article: “Dr Fletcher was able to follow the economic fortunes of pairs of ex-partners up to three years after separation. His analysis found in almost half of the separations the man gained financially, after taking into account the change in their family size, while their ex-partner was worse-off. In a quarter of cases, both were worse-off.”

“What typified that first group,” Dr Fletcher says, “is that they had a reasonably good income on average before the separation but most of it came from the man’s earnings. After separating, although the women increased their average earnings, this was not enough to offset the loss of the ex-partner’s income. They were also more likely to have care of the children than were the men.” 

Those kind of statistics don’t surprise female barristers like Lady Deborah Chambers KC, who has spent decades fighting for clients, often in high-net-worth divorce cases. She’s a sharp, intelligent litigator, who has been known to make those on the other side quiver when she is cross-examining someone on the stand. Talk about girl-power: it’s thanks to Lady Deborah that some of the judgments delivered in her clients’ favour have made the law better for women who have dedicated their lives to supporting their husbands and families. 

Lady Deborah is hot on a few things: one is that women often have virtually zero financial power in their marriages and relationships. Her big tip is that we women should never lose our economic independence — if you’re taking time out from the workforce for the family, only do so for a maximum of five years. 

Says Lady Deborah: “Women should be very careful about losing their earning capacity. They should do a WOF test on their relationship. Check your relationship for equality. If you have a trust, are you both trustees? Do you get consulted on financial decisions?” 

Part of her purpose is to get the message across that too many women are “sign-here wives”. In higher socio-economic households, they’re often happy to step out of the paid workforce and let him take care of the accounts – relegating that to the same job status as putting out the rubbish or mowing the lawn. But she tells me “the problem with that is divorce or death”. 

“It seems like a great choice at the time, but in the modern world – and I think most women have come to this view – it’s better to remain economically independent and to remain in the commercial world. You don’t need to be a CEO of a telecommunications company, but have your own money coming in. If something goes seriously wrong, you can get up and running again.”

She concludes: “Don’t abdicate financial responsibility to him. In some ways it’s easy for him to take care of that. But ideally, I’m in the old-fashioned feminist category of saying: keep your economic independence.”

Typically, even in the 2020s, says Lady Deborah, the man is the main income-earner and he often runs the financial accounts. (Tick – that was the case for me.) “He understands them, he knows what’s going on, he knows their value, he knows which levers to pull to make them work more or work less. And he’s more commercial. It’s not always the case, obviously, but it is often the case, particularly in high-income families, that the woman will be the support person.” Are you nodding? 

Your role has been to run the household, wipe noses and make sure the kids are happy, ensure hubby is emotionally and physically supported, and the fridge is full, the kids are whizzed around to after-school activities. And that’s on top of entertaining hubby’s clients or business colleagues, which sometimes still comes with the territory! It’s a huge, multi-faceted role being a primary caregiver and household PA, but this supportive role can backfire in a divorce, Lady Deborah has found time and again. She says women often don’t know where their money or assets are. When it comes to actually fighting for their share, women are also less likely to dig their heels in. 

“If you’ve been in that traditional role, you’re often not used to commercial processes, you might be wanting to avoid conflict because your role has been to smooth things over, make the marriage work, make the family work, and be the person who gets consensus. I think women tend to try to get consensus when we can. And you don’t know about finances and you are often very conscious of the children’s interests and there not being significant conflict with their father.” 

Men usually do better when they’re fighting for their share “because they’re better at thinking: ‘I’m going to be a good dad, but I’m going to fight with you about what is a fair division.’ They often understand business far better. And they’re probably much more comfortable with the idea: ‘There’s going to be a bit of a shit-fight here, but that’s okay. We’ll argue about it, and then it’ll be resolved and we’ll carry on, and I’ll be okay and she’ll be okay.’  And not getting all emotional about it. I mean that sounds terribly genderist, but that still tends to be what happens. Women are more concerned with the emotional impact, whereas men are more practical and objective and let’s get on with it.”

Mmmm…

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Madeleine Chapman
— Editor

In New Zealand, 1976 was a big year for divorcées. Around the time of my seventh birthday, the law changed so that assets had to be divided equally after a marriage break-up. Not long afterwards, in 1980, “no-fault divorce” was introduced. Before that, it was bad luck if you were a woman and your marriage collapsed; in most cases, you pretty much had to take whatever your husband offered you. But from 1976, the family home could be sold and the proceeds shared equally. 

Then section 15 of the Property (Relationships) Act came along: it was intended to financially compensate a woman who had given up paid employment to run the kids around day and night while her husband coasted up the career ladder. As she was wiping another bottom and he was enjoying corporate lunches, the law changed to compensate the caregiver for a share of his future earnings if their relationship ended. Unfortunately, though, in reviewing how section 15 has been working, the Law Commission found that it has been a costly and confusing process when it has gone through the courts, and that it is difficult to fight. So the commission wants section 15 repealed and something like a Family Income Sharing Arrangement introduced, where future income would be shared for a certain period of time. 

Under current relationship property law, a couple who have been living together for three years or more can claim half the assets they get during the relationship. (On another note, the relationship property law now covers de-facto relationships, civil unions and same-sex couples.) 

For now, though, (and at the time of writing), we have a law which still typically penalises the partner who has spent time out of the paid workforce, and that’s more often than not the woman. 

Lady Deborah also points out that “there is still a very old-fashioned view that ‘he earned it, so it’s his money and he’s very kind to share it’. That’s a kind of a default position, because there had always been the law up until 1976: that basically what you kill, if you earned it, if that was your financial contribution, that’s what you got back. It’s a relatively new concept that things have to be shared.” 

The author, Sarah Catherall, with her book. Photos supplied.

You don’t have to look far to find households being run like the Stepford Wives. A case in point is that of Elizabeth, who has done some serious soul-searching about her marriage and the way her ex’s financial control was a form of abuse. She lives in Auckland, and has been a stay-at-home mother since her first daughter was born about 20 years ago, while also supporting her ex growing his business. 

Elizabeth spits: “He’d tell me he was being generous. I had a bank account that he used to pay money into, and that was our little family trust, and I used to pay all of the bills out of that for the houses, and I used to pay myself a weekly wage out of that. It was another form of control. I knew he was controlling, but I’ve never actually given him a title and understood it. It’s not until you’re not with them, and then you start researching and going: ‘Oh my god: it was covert control. It was not overt, like domestic violence [but had much the same effect].'” 

That’s part of the reason, says Lady Deborah, why people whose relationships make them miserable – usually women – often stick with the status quo. Money and children are the two main reasons why toxic relationships linger for too long, she tells me. 

Lady Deborah has done enough work with unhappy wives and partners to know the typical scenario: three or four years after they have left Tom or Jonas, they’ve rebuilt their life, they’ve found someone they love – or they haven’t, and they’re happy on their own. “And they just say, ‘Oh, my god, life is so much better. I feel so much happier. I just wish I’d left earlier.'” 

But some were ill-prepared. You’ve got to plan your exit, says Lady Deborah. If you’re thinking of leaving, start putting money away — stuffing it in a sock if you need to. “You might know who you’ve married, but you don’t know who you’ll divorce.” If a woman is nervous that he will “take me to the cleaners”, Lady Deborah counsels her to, “be proactive: go and see a good lawyer before you separate and get advice. Talk about what documents you need, what you need to do, what is going to be the outcome if you separate”. She adds: “Men are much more inclined to see a lawyer and make a plan. Separating relationship property equitably is likely going to be the biggest financial transaction you’ll ever be involved in. Go and see a lawyer beforehand, get your ducks in a row and focus on how you will make your finances work in the years to come.” 

How to break up well by Sarah Catherall ($40, Bateman Books) is available to purchase from Unity Books