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Don’t be like Andy hugging Ron from Parks & Recreation
Don’t be like Andy hugging Ron from Parks & Recreation

OPINIONCovid-19March 19, 2020

Covid-19: A hugger’s guide to staying the hell away from people

Don’t be like Andy hugging Ron from Parks & Recreation
Don’t be like Andy hugging Ron from Parks & Recreation

In these times of social distancing, we’re going to have to accept that things are going to get awkward, writes Pallas Hupé Cotter.

I have friends who are huggers, and people who know me know that I’m a hugger. I even sign off emails with “Hugs, Pallas.” So it’s hard for me to be able to push people away, say “stop!”, or stop myself when presented with an opportunity to hug.

But I’m going to have to find a way. Fast.

We’re all going to have to learn to override our deeply ingrained social impulses as long as Covid-19 hangs around. Instead, we’re going to have to give “social consent” to be anti-social, at least for the time being.

It dawned on me just how challenging this would be when I travelled from the small town I now call home to the “big smoke” of Wellington, my former home. At the time there were no reported cases of Covid-19 in the capital city. It was about a week before social distancing became a thing, but talk of the virus was still in the air, so to speak. It felt like an inevitability and I found myself struggling with how to react. I had trouble overcoming my human inclination to share a warm greeting with my old friends. It was hard to override my training to be polite.

Two friends who had daily contact with elderly relatives tried to keep their distance, but I forgot myself and hugged one at the end of a catch-up. Mistake one. I was facilitating a conference with some international participants, and out of polite habit, extended my hand for a handshake. Mistake two. Out came the hand sanitiser, surreptitiously.

In a desperate attempt to avoid three strikes, I awkwardly tried something I’d just read about on the way to our meeting place with the next person I met. When I went in for the elbow bump, utter confusion crossed her face. And yes, that was totally embarrassing. But when I explained to her what I was doing, she was enthusiastic and tried it on someone else.

This is what “social consent” looks like. And right now, it’s urgently needed.

Of course, I then wondered, what good is an elbow bump when we’re all sharing tapas and drinks sitting less than 1.5 metres from each other? Snap! Now I know that this was my third mistake.

Jack Tame and Simon Bridges standing 1.5m apart

A lot has changed since my trip, and every day we get new advice about how to keep ourselves and others safe. That means that there’s a lot we’re now going to have to learn to navigate. It will require using common sense, calling on critical thinking skills and learning new ways to communicate, both verbally and non-verbally.

We’re going to have to train ourselves to be anti-social. Not forever. But for now.

I know it doesn’t feel entirely real. I can’t be the only one who wakes up to the latest updates on my newsfeed thinking that maybe I’m still dreaming. The last time I felt this way was after Trump was elected. It takes a while for our brains to catch up to a fast-changing and unfamiliar new reality, but reality is starting to sink in. We’re not going back to business as usual for a while yet. There’s no time to “wait and see” – there’s no room for denial.

This also feels like a test of how rational human beings can be. To see if we can resist giving in, either to exaggerated fear or to social pressure. Letting go of caring what other people think (which we are so hard-wired to do) and doing what’s ethically right. Sacrificing for the greater good, not just prioritising our own individual wants, needs and comforts.

So here’s how I’m going to change what I do, how I react in social situations:

  1. I’m going to imagine a bubble around me every time I walk out the door and try not to pop it.
  2. I’m going to wave and smile at people and then cross my arms to signal that is the extent of my greeting.
  3. I’m going to steel myself to withstand the exaggerated sighs and rolling of eyes that may follow.
  4. I’m going to have my language ready, a rehearsed line, that may sound something like this: “I know it may seem unnecessary, but why take the chance? What’s there to lose, really?”

As straightforward as it might seem, this being anti-social takes both preparation and practice.

As someone who’s only known risk is mild asthma, I will continue to leave my house, be active and support local businesses. I’ll take whatever precautions around sanitising and social distancing the experts advise. I’ll check my supply of canned food (and yes, toilet paper) in case I need to self-isolate. By the way, this should all be in our earthquake kits anyway.

In fact, I keep thinking this is a practice run for a more deadly outbreak or natural disaster. A learning opportunity for governments to learn how to act faster, make sure they’re well supplied, and communicate more effectively; for businesses (that can survive this time around) to build resilience in response to rapid changes in the marketplace; and for us personally to think before we act, make informed choices, and learn new ways to behave to minimise risk to ourselves and others.

And that includes being prepared to be judged as an overreactor by doubters, not worrying about being perceived as impolite or anti-social by others, and stopping my impulse to greet people with a warm embrace. I can still do it in writing, at least.

Hugs, Pallas.

Keep going!
Jacinda Ardern addresses the media. (Getty Images)
Jacinda Ardern addresses the media. (Getty Images)

PoliticsMarch 19, 2020

‘Unless you hear it from us it is not the truth’ – Ardern on the lockdown rumours

Jacinda Ardern addresses the media. (Getty Images)
Jacinda Ardern addresses the media. (Getty Images)

Throughout the day rumours have swept the country that NZ is on the brink of a lockdown. This afternoon, Jacinda Ardern has addressed them.

The prime minister, Jacinda Ardern, has urged New Zealanders to beware rumours circulating online.

“This is not unique to New Zealand. In the midst of what is a global issue, as you would expect, there are a number of rumours that circulate,” she told media in Rotorua.

“I am present on social media, I see it myself. I cannot go around and individually dismiss every single rumour I see on social media, as tempted as I might be. So instead I want to send a clear message to the New Zealand public: We will share with you the most up-to-date information daily. You can trust us as a source of information.”

One particular message has spread rapidly this morning, claiming to come from a parliamentary insider with knowledge of plans for a lockdown. Another version involved rumours said to have emanated from the Police.

Ardern said she was aware of the rumour. Asked about it by media in Rotorua, she said, “That’s the kind of thing that adds to the anxiety people feel … Do not panic – prepare. When you see those messages, remember that unless you hear it from us it is not the truth.”

Ardern urged people to consult the official government site, covid19.govt.nz, which is updated with the latest information.

Asked this afternoon about the rumours, New Zealand’s director-general of health, Ashley Bloomfield said: “Someone mentioned that to me as I was on my way in here, and that’s not something that I’ve heard discussed by anybody.”

On whether a lockdown was an option, he said: “We’ve seen other countries do that. When they have tended to do that is when they have a very high proportion of cases with community spread.”

As of today, New Zealand has yet to report any community spread.

For more, see The Spinoff’s live updates here.

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