Who is it, who is it underneath the ? (Design: Tina Tiller)

Pop CultureAugust 7, 2022

Who are the contestants on Celebrity Treasure Island 2022?

Senior writer

Who is it, who is it underneath the ? (Design: Tina Tiller)

We asked the so-called celebrities the only question Facebook commenters want to know: WHO???

It is a proud New Zealand tradition that every reality TV casting announcement posted on Facebook must be followed by 300 people called Barry who have a car as their profile picture commenting “WHO?” And “WHO CARES?” And boy have they come through for this year’s Celebrity Treasure Island cast announcements.

Here at The Spinoff, we heard Barry’s cries, his confusion, his rage. So when we were given the chance to meet the cast of Celebrity Treasure Island 2022 at their secluded North Island location, we were determined to ask them the hard questions that you, the furious people of Facebook, want to know: WHO???? and WHO CARES?????

Alex King

Who: Former radio host for Mai FM, actress and musician. OK, and she’s also Mike King’s daughter.

…. WHO??? “Look, compared to my Dad I am a Z-list celebrity. He’s actually famous. I get it. On the show they will probably pan to me and be like ‘who is this random little brown girl’? My name key is probably going to have to be: Alex King, 24, Mike King’s daughter.”

Cam Mansel

Who: Host of the ZM Late Show and sea monkey content creator.

…. WHO??? “Literally everyone is going to say ‘who’ at me. I would just have to say you may not know me now, but hopefully throughout the show you get to know me and I can provide you a little bit of entertainment.” And possibly sea monkeys.

Cassie Roma

Who: Entrepreneur, mentor and notorious indoor hat wearer on The Apprentice Aotearoa.

…. WHO??? “Who are you? John Doe? Just enjoy the ride because we are just a whole bunch of people just like you, except we aren’t all chatting on Facebook.”

Courtney Louise

Who: An actor best known for playing nosy Shortland Street PA Monique Strutter.

…. WHO??? Okay, we did forget to ask her this question but she did say “I suck at social media” and until very recently had a private Instagram which seems odd for a Shortland Street star, so she probably won’t see Barry’s comments anyway.

Dylan Schmidt

Who: Olympic trampolinist, competed in Tokyo 2020 and won a bronze medal.

…. WHO??? Remind me, how many Olympic medals have you won?

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Eds Eramiha

Who: Actor, best known for starring roles in Vegas, Mahana and The Legend of Baron To’a.

…. WHO??? Oh sorry Barry, I forgot the biggest credit – he was ranked third in The Spinoff’s ranking of every single contestant on Come Dine With Me NZ in 2015.

Elvis Lopeti

Who: Royal Family dancer, TikTok sensation, bestie of CTI finalist Lance Savali.

…. WHO??? Don’t worry Barry, Elvis has already got a plan of attack for you. “I’m going to lie to everyone and tell them that I am a famous rugby player, a hooker, gold medallist, World Cup, everything. Then they will get really confused and start arguing with themselves.”

Guy Montgomery

Who: Comedian, podcaster, television host (RIP to both Fail Army and TVNZ U).

…. WHO??? “I plan to just join all those people in the comments saying ‘guy montgomery sucks’.” Spoiler alert, he did something even more elaborate.

Iyia Liu

Who: Entrepreneur and star of reality show Boss Babes with last year’s CTI finalist Edna Swart.

…. WHO??? “I have dealt with a lot of this over the past four years anyway,” Liu sighed when asked about Barry. “I don’t really read the comments anymore. I wouldn’t say anything to people like that.”

Jesse Tuke

Who: Sports commentator and the brother of elite sailor Blair Tuke.

…. WHO??? Sorry Barry, and your brother is who? Robin? Gibb? OK, you are quite famous then. Thank you for reading The Spinoff.

Dr Joel Rindelaub

Who: Science superstar and mullet-haver.

…. WHO??? “I know I am D-List, it’s like I did Late Night Big Breakfast once and now I am in this show where I am allegedly a celebrity. They told me on the phone that they wanted A-listers and I was like ‘what? do we even have A-listers?’” Science is on your side, Barry.

Karen O’Leary

Who: Early childhood teacher, musician, comedian and star of Wellington Paranormal.

…. WHO??? Have you really not seen What We Do In The Shadows, Baz? For shame.

Lynette Forday

Who: Best known for playing iconic 90s Shortland Street character Grace Kwan and doing an emergency tracheotomy with a biro.

…. WHO??? “Look, Barry, you come up and give it a shot. You do all these challenges on national television and see how you feel.”

Melodie Robinson

Who: Former Black Fern, winner of two World Cups, sports journalist, TV presenter and chosen in 2019 to be replicated as Mattel’s first Māori barbie. You OK there Barry?

WHO CARES?!? “Life is too short, it is for living! This is a huge amount of fun and we’ve had a pretty tough time over the last few years, so this is about leaving all this shit behind.”

Mike King

Who: Comedian turned mental health advocate and 2019 New Zealander of the Year.

WHO??? King had a more generous approach to Barry: “Good for you. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, you know? I used to be that guy.”

Perlina Lau

Who: Actor and broadcaster, best known for Flat3, Friday Night Bites and Creamerie.

… WHO??? Have you seen Creamerie yet? You should really watch Creamerie.

Ron Cribb

Who: Former All Black, star of Three’s Match Fit.

… WHO??? “There’s always those people,” Cribb mused. “But I’m not doing anything other than trying to help and doing positive things.” Suddenly, things turned violent: “Also, I am trained to destroy people so what are you doing coming for me? Silly.”

Shimpal Lelisi

Who: Actor and comedian, best known as one of the original members of The Naked Samoans and star of Shortland Street and Sione’s Wedding.

WHO CARES?!? Lelisi had a thoughtful response to those who poo-poo reality TV shows like Celebrity Treasure Island. “It really is such a diverse mix of people so you do get a bit of a reflection of our society – I really do think it is a bit of a commentary on where we are at as a people. Also, all these people are watching but they just pretend that they don’t.”

Siobhan Marshall

Who: Best known for playing Pascalle West in Outrageous Fortune, as well as roles on Shortland Street, The Almighty Johnsons and The Blue Rose and coming third in Dancing With the Stars 2015.

… WHO??? “Oh, I don’t notice those people. I just don’t look at it, I’ve learned over the years to not care about that stuff, it’s just not worth it.”

Te Kohe Tuhaka

Who: Actor and producer, known for roles in The Deadlands, The Kick and Shortland Street.

… WHO??? Sorry Barry, how many times have you played Jerome Kaino in a feature film?

Dame Susan Devoy

Who: Four-time squash world champion, former Race Relations Commissioner.

… WHO??? Barry, no.

Celebrity Treasure Island is coming “soon” to TVNZ2

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Keep going!

Bzz, bzz, for an insect themed runway and an acting challenge on RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under.

Pop CultureAugust 6, 2022

RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under power rankings: Do not pass go, go straight to jail

Sam Brooks

Contributing writer

Bzz, bzz, for an insect themed runway and an acting challenge on RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under.

An acting challenge set in a Timaru prison sends one queen packing, and another queen straight to the top.

This recap is for season two, episode two of RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, available to watch on TVNZ+ now. If you’re waiting for the broadcast on Friday night please don’t read any further until then.

We’re back on track! The second episode of Drag Race Down Under is leagues better than the first: a bit of exciting drama, a challenge that tests the mettle of some queens while letting others show what they can, a unique insect-themed runway, and our first great lip-sync of the season.

After a weird mini-challenge where episode one winner Molly Poppinz arbitrarily gives out awards to her fellow queens, we come to the acting challenge, which is so loosely scripted I genuinely thought it was an improv challenge. The title: Caged Queens, a riff on the women-in-prison films from the 70s. As with all acting challenges, this one is a mixed bag. As we get further into the franchise, the types of queens who make it on Drag Race get more varied, and it’s not rare for look queens or Instagram queens to flop when it comes to theatrical performances. The more experienced queens do well, likely thanks to a long history of having to spin gold from straw, performance-wise. The less experienced queens… do not.

This week’s runway – featuring a perfectly lovely Lucy Lawless, who seems not to have aged since Xena – is a great one and the queens live up to it. There’s not a single dud look on the runway, as you’ll see below. Unfortunately, Kween Kong and Aubrey Haive land in the bottom, but fortunately they get to lip-sync to the unimpeachable 1990 banger ‘I Touch Myself’ by The Divinyls.

You would think/hope that Aubrey Haive, having taken her name from Austin Powers, would do well with a song that is prominently featured in that film. Alas, Kween Kong doesn’t take being in the bottom lying down. She gives the most dexterous cartwheel I’ve seen on the mainstage, and does what I can only call a balletic stop-drop-and-roll that leaves the judges breathless. Aubrey sashays away, and Kween is around the kong another for another day.

Eliminated: Aubrey Haive

Oh, Aubrey. You made a good go at it, and for only having done drag for such a short time you should be proud of how far you came. Sadly, this trained actor was all business and not enough performance. She threw too many things at the wall as “an upper echelon Minogue” in the challenge, had a super unclear character on the runway despite a lovely look, and her attempt at doing a stunt in the lip-sync was completely eclipsed by Kween Kong just… doing the song.

And with that, Aubrey Haive heaves out of the competition.

8. Beverly Killz

I would’ve eliminated Beverly for her line-reading of Latrice Royale’s iconic “keep those nuts out of my face”, which suggested not just an unfamiliarity with performance, but with the general concept of comedy.

7. Yuri Guai

In a talking head during the challenge, Yuri apologises to anybody who has to watch, which is sort of the kiss of death. Yuri isn’t an actor, clearly. She does, however, know how to turn a look, giving a praying mantis look that is so good that Molly Poppinz jokes that hers is pretty much the AliExpress version of it. Yuri’s a fun presence in the competition, but her floundering in this challenge worries me – there’s often more than one performance challenge, and that could be what sends her home.

6. Pomara Fifth

Hilarious in the performance, not so great on the runway, a little churlish in the workroom, complaining when Minnie Cooper says that she has dyslexia for what she believes in the umpteenth time. Can’t wait to see what she does in Snatch Game.

5. Kween Kong

God, I love Kween. She straight up says, when the other queens disrespect Minnie, “we wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for her”, and while she flounders in the mini-challenge, she owns up to it on the runway. And man, does she flounder (although she does point out it’s a bit early for a challenge like this, given the queens haven’t had any time to play with each other and find their rhythms).

Her look, however, as a black death moth, is high fashion, and she absolutely blows Aubrey Haive off the stage. If there’s one queen I want to see go all the way, it’s definitely this Kween.

4. Molly Poppinz

Fun performance, less than great runway, but Poppinz seems she’ll be around here to stay. Again, someone I can’t wait to see do Snatch Game.

3. Hannah Conda

A great turn-out from Ms. Conda. She goes all out in the performance, her runway is inspired (with some jawdroppingly good makeup) and she ends up in the top three again. No complaints, few notes.

2. Minnie Cooper

God, I love Minnie Cooper. There’s a way of resolving conflict that these older queens have that I vibe with – right up the top of the episode, she settles a feud with Aubrey Haive in the moment; later on, she nips a conflict with Pomara Fifth in the bud by asking her to apologise. It’s mature, it’s refreshing, and it actually makes for good TV.

Unsurprisingly, Minnie nails the acting challenge, does a suitably sophisticated and charming runway, which is why she ends up second. You can also tell that Ru loves her, which is a definite boon in a show with RuPaul in the title.

1. Spankie Jackzon

We love an underdog story. After delivering a pantyhose-less look in the first challenge, Spankie Jackzon comes roaring back into the competition. Her performance as a Russian inmate with the most indistinct Russian accent was hilarious, her fly outfit was maybe less expensive and high fashion than the other outfits but she performed the hell out of it, and she’s proven herself to be a genuine delight in the workroom – a filthy-mouthed contrast to Minnie Cooper’s prim and proper persona.

Most of all, the top queens this week have proven that they’re not to be counted out. Experience counts for a lot, as we learn time and time again over on this show, and that fact comes into sharp relief here. Most impressively, Spankie seems to be a sort of den mother with genuine love and care for the other queens, and that’s the role we don’t see on Drag Race so often. A reminder that these spinoff franchises have more to give than just another 10 episodes of charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent.

RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under drops on TVNZ+ on Saturdays at 6pm, and airs the following Friday on TVNZ2 at 9.30pm.

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