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Sad Alice (Image: The Spinoff)
Sad Alice (Image: The Spinoff)

SocietyJuly 20, 2021

How my long weekend away became a long haul in a Melbourne hotel room

Sad Alice (Image: The Spinoff)
Sad Alice (Image: The Spinoff)

A quick trip to Melbourne to see a show was never meant to end in two weeks locked down in a hotel room. The Spinoff’s Alice Webb-Liddall explains her impossible, failed rush to get home.

There are obvious risks involved with flying overseas at the moment. I had a holiday to Japan booked last March, when things really started kicking off, and that trip was obviously very quickly cancelled.

Since then, I’ve made brief visits to the South Island to see family, to Northland for an Easter camping trip and the Coromandel for a long-weekend breather. But they never really scratched the travel itch that had been building in the weeks leading up to the ill-fated Japan excursion.

In the beginning of this year, my best friend was cast as Wednesday in a production of the Addams Family in Melbourne, a role I’d drunkenly prophesied her getting a year prior. Along with another friend and Wednesday’s mum, I made plans for a surprise visit to coincide with the show. The bubble was open, flights were going in and out of Australia daily, and we had all prepared for the possibility that we might have to fly home quickly if the situation changed.

We landed in Melbourne late on Tuesday night, slept, then made our way into the city to our friend’s hotel. We surprised her at the door, watched the blank face turn into recognition and braced ourselves for the barrage of hugs. We explored the city – masks on – caught a tram, went to a museum and saw a statue being unveiled in Fed Square.

At 4pm a message from a friend in New Zealand warned that Covid-19 response minister Chris Hipkins had told New Zealanders in Victoria to get home, quickly.

This is life now: Alice Webb-Liddall in her Melbourne hotel room (supplied)

The three of us decided on our next move. To fly home, we would all need a negative Covid test – a requirement of the New Zealand government – though none of us had any symptoms. We would all go and get Covid tests first thing the next morning, the earliest we could.

On Thursday morning we were up at eight, filling out pathology forms and running down to the lobby to get them printed before hopping in the car and driving out to the testing station that had been recommended to us. The wait was short, and the test didn’t take long, though it cost us $150 a pop. Here in Australia they swab both nostrils and the throat. The woman at the centre said she would write on the form that we were on a Saturday flight so we could get our results as quickly as possible. No lockdown had been announced, nor any trans-Tasman bubble closure for Victoria, so as far as we were aware we were staying ahead of any potential threat of being stuck.

We knew nothing could be done about flying home until the tests had come back negative, which we were told could take up to 24 hours. We contacted Jetstar to cancel our flights home, which were booked for the next Tuesday, in preparation for booking new ones far sooner.

That afternoon, Victoria officials announced Melbourne would be going into lockdown from midnight. Then Hipkins said the Victoria-New Zealand bubble would be closing at midday the following day.

I took a phone call from my friend’s mum, who was sitting at her laptop looking for flights for us; any way for us to get home. The only option that would get us there in time would leave Melbourne at 6am on Friday, arriving in Auckland just in time for the bubble closure. But with our negative test results not expected until later on Friday morning, we were already stuck.

Maybe we should have never got on the plane in the first place, but we were cautious. We followed the rules and tried to get back; we spent $150 each on a Covid test as a precautionary measure. We still couldn’t get home in time.

We’ve all registered with SafeTravel, hoping that if the bubble isn’t opened soon we can get on a repatriation flight. What was initially a five-day lockdown has today been extended for another seven days; cases in the state are growing by the day but so far they all appear to have the same source, the removalists from Sydney.

For now, the four of us – our Wednesday Addams friend decided to lockdown with us – are in a hotel apartment with a handful of books and a patchy internet connection. Three of us are lucky to be able to work from here. We’re doing fine; I miss my cat and my fiance and being able to go outside, but we have a place to stay and enough food.

Staring down the barrel of potentially multiple weeks more here, though, I feel for the other people in similar positions, who came here, followed advice, and did what they could as soon as they were told to. And still ended up stuck thousands of kilometres from home.

Keep going!
Illustration: Getty Images
Illustration: Getty Images

OPINIONSocietyJuly 20, 2021

Tear it down and start again? Fixing our antiquated education system

Illustration: Getty Images
Illustration: Getty Images

Society is changing fast, but schools aren’t keeping up. Enough with the tinkering, says Thalia Kehoe Rowden – it’s time for real reform.

In the year of our Lord 2021, why are our teenagers going to school dressed like matching Victorian butlers?

Why do they get forced into crowded rooms, sorted by, basically, their star sign, where about a third of them are bullied?

Why are we paying $16bn a year for a system that fails many tamariki and rangatahi Māori, and that excludes or fails to meet the needs of an enormous number of disabled or neurodivergent children? 

Since my own school days in the 1980s and 1990s, we in Aotearoa New Zealand have changed our collective views on same-sex marriages, the legal personhood of the Whanganui River, and, well, saying “Aotearoa New Zealand”. 

We’ve seen the emergence, and raging success, of Alien Weaponry, Ru Paul’s Drag Race Down Under, and The Casketeers. Would you have predicted any of those, even 20 years ago?

Society has been changing fast, and our education system is not keeping up. Just ask any parent trying to accommodate 12 weeks of school holidays on four weeks of annual leave from work. The school calendar still seems to assume there are “housewives” in every home. 

Most teachers, of course, are doing a great job in difficult circumstances. But for every advance they make in teacher training, education theory, and understanding how children learn, they have to try and put them into practice in a fundamentally flawed infrastructure. It’s like trying to build the internet using Lego. 

Our current school system isn’t just underfunded, it’s outdated, by about a century. 

Modern adult working life, for most of us, isn’t governed by bells, highly structured authoritarianism, or denial of bodily autonomy. It doesn’t happen in binary single-sex groupings. Teamwork and friendliness are more highly valued in most workplaces than competitive individualism. Self-management, initiative, and creative problem-solving are crucial adult skills for the 21st century – but they’re at odds with an education system that micromanages children’s intellectual lives and bosses their bodies.

If we’re shocked that Christchurch teenagers report horrifying levels of sexual abuse and harassment, why are we propping up a system that polices their bodies, and erodes their consent for six hours a day? 

Imagine taking 30 random 43-year-olds off the street, with nothing in common but their birth year, and planning a curriculum for them that would meet all their learning needs. It would be both ridiculous and self-defeating – and it’s how we routinely treat nearly a million young New Zealanders. 

This matters. It matters for the children we are failing – for their sakes, and for ours, since we’re missing out on all they can contribute when we cherish them. It matters for the children who are “fine” but who are absorbing a structural culture of ableism, inequity, and competitive individualism. 

And it matters because the challenges our kids need to prepare for aren’t the ones a Victorian education system can help with. We’ve long ago realised that rote learning and dunce caps don’t help anyone. If we’re going to have a shot at surviving the climate crisis, and building a world without war and famine, we need to start all over again. We need to build an education system that’s based on the best evidence of how children learn, and what society needs. 

We need to start again.

I asked Twitter, and found that parents are fantasising about this. They want all children to be nurtured and stretched, whatever their abilities and interests. They want Māori to have te tino rangatiratanga over the upbringing and education of tamariki Māori. They want kids to be in much smaller groups, with well-paid adults guiding their learning, led by children’s own interests. They want holistic, hands-on learning that’s integrated with the rest of the real world families live in. They want kids to be happy.

Imagine if we could have a national conversation about this, where we’re not confined by the ways we’ve always done things. Real reform, not just tinkering.

I know this is hard. Society changes fast, but we’re not so good at changing our national structures. And of course, many adults survived their years of traditional schooling and will shut down debate with claims that “it never did me any harm” (eye roll emoji). 

The trend of the last few decades has also been towards local governance of schools, with boards of trustees – mostly parents, meeting once a month or two – making most decisions about how schools are run. This makes it hard to enact changes across a whole town, let alone the whole country.

For example, it’s fascinating, in a car-crash kind of way, that Wellington’s secondary school sector has been allowed to grow up in a bizarrely uneven way, with apparently no political will to intervene. If you live in the northern suburbs, all your local schools are co-ed. If you live in the entire remainder of Wellington city, there are, by my count, 10 single-sex schools to only one co-ed option.

On top of this weirdness, because of (I can only guess) a century or so of class influence, ad hoc growth, and an apparent vacuum of central planning, there are no high schools at all in the enormous area from Kelburn to Khandallah. All teenagers from there have to spend an extra hour or two a day commuting into town for schools that local kids are then excluded from by zoning. 

This is the kind of thing no one has fixed, so you could be forgiven for thinking that the kind of from-the-ground-up planning so many parents and kids are desperate for is completely impossible. 

But systems are just people. There isn’t an Old-Fashioned Schooling Monster, dressed in an ill-fitting gingham pinafore, resisting all our efforts for improvement, and roaring a Latin motto protectively in front of a plaque listing all the head girls from 1892 onwards. 

It’s just us. We get to decide. We get to tell Chris Hipkins – maybe once he’s overseen the vanquishing of Covid-19 – that we want him to do more than finesse the qualification schedule or rearrange the existing budget. We want our leaders to be brave, to lead, rather than just manage.  

So let’s have a national conversation. Let’s aspire to something new and better. Let’s throw out the things that we’ve outgrown, and be realistic and hopeful about what children need – what we all need.

Let’s just not turn up to that conversation all wearing matching blazers, kilts and ties