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Bitter nightmares are made of this. (Image: Tina Tiller)
Bitter nightmares are made of this. (Image: Tina Tiller)

Pop CultureMay 7, 2021

Who are the hidden celebs on The Masked Singer NZ? We decipher the clues

Staff writers
Bitter nightmares are made of this. (Image: Tina Tiller)
Bitter nightmares are made of this. (Image: Tina Tiller)

The international singing show sensation The Masked Singer arrives in Aotearoa on Sunday night. Which famous faces will be hiding under the costumes? Nobody knows – but these are our best guesses.

It’s the biggest reality show in the world right now, and it’s finally here in New Zealand. We’re excited.

How to explain The Masked Singer? It’s not at all easy. Basically, 12 celebrities are shoved into elaborate costumes that are the stuff of nightmares, and then they sing songs. A panel of judges (in our case Rhys Darby, James Roque, Ladi6 and Sharyn Casey) try to guess who the celebrities are. They are unmasked, one by one, week by week, according to the response from audience and judges to that episode’s performances. The last one to be unmasked is the winner of… The Masked Singer.

But the real winner is the audience at home, trying to guess who’s behind the mask based only on their voice and a few cryptic clues. Below, we’ve taken our best guess at the identity of each masked singer, and we’ve included the clues so you can decide for yourself. Good luck!

TUATARA

The clue: I am Tuatara, one of the oldest reptiles in the world and found only in Aotearoa. I’ve learned lots of secrets to success over my years on this planet – and will be keeping my third eye on the prize. 

Remember, I’m a survivor from the ends of the earth – so I’m riding solo these days, and I’ve changed my appearance over time. Hopefully this performance merits the judge’s praise. I’m not a lizard, nor a dinosaur. I’m the only one left of my kind. 

Sam Brooks: Kelvin Cruickshank, New Zealand’s other most well-known third eye wielder.

Stewart Sowman-Lund: We’ve had David Seymour on Dancing with the Stars, now it’s time for Winston Peters on The Masked Singer. Possibly New Zealand’s oldest reptile, Peters is the definition of a survivor. 

Tara Ward: Sue Nicholson, renowned psychic medium and lover of a third eye. Sing like nobody’s listening, open your third eye like nobody’s watching, job done Sue. 

TŪĪ

The clue: I’m a national treasure in real life and on the stage, it’s me – Tūī! Birds of a feather might flock together, but I’m not here to make friends – I’m in it to win it. This kiwi bird first took flight in Australia. I was an early success. You’ll be a box of birds after my performance. 

Tūī are known to leap and skip amongst the treetops. The early bird gets the worm, and I’m raring to go. The others may chicken out but I’m going all the way to number one. 

Sam: Mark Richardson, the earliest riser in the country.

Stewart: It’s got to be Stan Walker, New Zealand’s favourite Australian import. 

Tara: Matilda Green, because tūī birdsong sounds a lot like “matootles” and worms are probably paleo.

JELLYFISH

The clue: Hey guys it’s me Jellyfish. Follow me as I dive into my little fairytale. After journeying across the seas, I decided it was time to kick up my heels a bit. I’m super competitive and I love to win. I like going to parties and making friends. 

And while being on dry land is a little scary, I’m hoping I can still make a splash on the stage. Think you can work out who I am? I love a lackadaisical Sunday afternoon.

Sam: Going to parties and making friends? Why it has to be our nation’s most friendly man: Colin Mathura-Jeffree! Either him or public enemy number one (for fish), Clarke Gayford.

Stewart: Hopefully this is the intern who had to write these clues, because they deserve a break and a pay rise.

Tara: Get down, get funky, it’s a shame there’s no blue monkey. It’s Suzanne Paul, because Sunday afternoons give her a natural glow. 

POSSUM

The clue: They call me Tom Cruise, because I’m Mission Im–possumble. It’s me, Possum! I might look cute and cuddly, but I’m more cunning than I look. Like most possums, I first thrived in Australia. 

Naturally as I’m from a sporty family. My big possum eyes have spotted the prize and I’m going in for the kill. I’m a big fan of Elvis Presley. Some possums can even fly, so watch me fly all the way to the top. 

SB: Suspicious minds, innocent eyes, it may well be Delta Goodrem.

Stewart: I don’t know sports. Richie McCaw? Does he have massive possum eyes? Probably.

Tara: Thingee, and if it’s not him I’ll eat my third eye. 

ALIEN

The clue: Watch this space – it’s me Alien! I have recently been fielding many questions about my identity. But you’ll know I’m used to wearing a disguise. As for my singing –  I’m going to win this competition – Jupiter believe it. 

The panel need to calm down and beehive. To all my competitors, Comet me bro. I’m ultra-competitive and always want to beat the opposition – but don’t make any Snap decisions with your vote.

Sam: This is either Paula Bennett or Tom Sainsbury as Paula Bennett.

Stewart: This is definitely a politician, but let me propose an alternative. It’s got to be Chris “the Bish” Bishop – don’t ask me why.

Tara: Zip it sweeties, it’s Paula Bennett.

MEDUSA

The clue: I am medusa – in Greek mythology a woman with snakes instead of hair. There’s a clue in my name – if you work it out, you’ll be close. I love the way my dress feels. 

With snakes for hair, I’m floating On Air. Tonight, will be one of my greatest performances. This isn’t my first rodeo, so just watch how far I go. I’m used to shooting for the stars.

Sam: Tonight? Me-dusa? I’m hearing Me-gan Alatini, of TrueBliss fame!

Stewart: Me-ghan Markle? She’s a TV pro and recently said she and Prince Harry considered a shift to New Zealand. After Oprah, The Masked Singer is the best place to make an appearance.

Tara: If you scramble the letters in “medusa” long enough you come up with “Rachel Hunter”, so there it is. I don’t make the rules, snake queen.  

SHEEP

The clue: Shhh, don’t tell Bo Peep I’ve made a run for it, it’s me – Sheep! I’m no wolf in sheep’s clothing, I’m the real deal. Unlike most sheep I’ve been known to keep calm at times. 

I expect to sail away with this competition. You’ll spot my fleece around the acres or roaming in the backyard of my uncle’s Bach. With two shakes of this lamb’s tale, I’ll shepherd out the competition. It takes courage to perform behind the mask, but my conscience is clear. 

Sam: Sailing? It has to be no other than five-time Olympian Barbara Kendall, heading for gold once more.

Stewart: I’ve been calling for Naz to return to New Zealand’s screens forever, and the time has finally come. When people say Bach, I think Bach-elor. Who’s going to be on the hit list this time?

Tara: Wake up sheeples! There’s nobody calmer than Dr Ashley Bloomfield, shepherd to a team of five million and rumoured fan of fleece. (Disclaimer: we do not know the director general of health’s official position on natural fibres).

MONARCH

The clue: Ladies and gentlemen, please put your wings together for Monarch! I’ve got orange stripes like a tiger, but I’ll sting like a bee – my competitors have got nothing on me. I’m so excited to be in this huge metropolis. 

Just like a ladybird I’m ready to spread my wings. I’m mad about performing, and can’t wait to take to the stage tonight. With a wingspan like mine, I’ll easily fly to the top. I’m hoping tonight’s my big break. 

Sam: Dame Catherine Tizard, purely for the image.

Stewart: Nobody can “sting like a bee” as well as a boxer can. Joseph Parker, for sure.

Tara: Patrick Gower, in an exciting attempt to break away from the “fucking news”.

MONSTER

The clue: Hey guys, it’s me Monster! As a monster, I’m pretty scary. I’m used to taking down all my competitors. Since I was a young child, I’ve always run to the beat of my own drum. I’ve sharpened my claws and I’m going to claw my way to the top. 

On this show, I want to be strong and powerful, just like my ancestors were. Think you can work out who I am? I’m no sea creature, but you’ll often find me washed up on the shore. 

Sam: David Tua, ready to take down competitors once more.

Stewart: A C-lister that needs a career boost. Take your pick.

Tara: The Rock. We can live in hope, right?

MOA

The clue: Bird’s the word, it’s me – Moa! I might be extinct, but I’m no dinosaur – moa may be flightless birds, but I really can soar. A lot of stories about moa are the stuff of legend – a bit like me really.

That I’m a bird is a bit of a giveaway. I’m definitely not going to Beak early. I’m going to boss the competition. When it’s time for the big game, my aim is true.

Sam: Her aim is true, and she’s no slouch: Beatrice Faumuina.

Stewart: A legend? Suzy Cato, obviously. 

Tara: Come on down Anika Moa, a boss, a legend and an actual Moa. 

ORANGE ROUGHY

The clue: Hello I’m Orange Roughy! The thing about fish like me, they like swimming against the tide. I’m not afraid to stand up for what I think is right. Yes, I have to look out for the ocean’s predators like any fish does, but I’ll dig my tail in if I need to. 

Swimming these seas all my life, I’ve come across a fair few scuffles. Travelling from sea to ocean, my journey has been rocky. Luckily I’m a streamline fish and can get myself out of danger. I’m not nervous about tonight, I’ve shot for the stars a few times before. The next clue might throw you off course. 

Sam: Calling this for Danyon Loader, because I’m unimaginative and can only name one swimmer.

Stewart: I can name a second! Sophie Pascoe. New Zealand literally has no other swimmers. 

Tara: Sounds plausible, but my money’s on New Zealand music icon Sir Roderick “Orange Roughy” Stewart coming to rock the dock again.

PAVLOVA

The clue: I’m as sweet as pie, it’s me Pavlova! Australia might claim me as their own, but this Pavlova is all Kiwi. Representing Pavlova is right up my alley. It’s a sweet and exotic trip and one I’m looking forward to taking. Just like a Pavlova, I’m known for being airy. 

Tonight, I’m going to Focus on my dance moves – it’s one of my greatest assets. While I might not be a dancing queen, I’m no stranger to the screen. You guys are wide off the mark – next time listen more more closely and I may come to your rescue.

Sam: It’s gotta be Rebecca Gibney, who is a true blue-and-red Kiwi, despite her fame in Packed to the Rafters.

Stewart: Lorde, after that one time she was called Australian.

Tara: Phar Lap. Have you seen the trailer for this show? Anything could happen. 

More Reading
‘I should have walked out’: The live Breakfast moment Ali Mau regrets to this day The journalist, broadcaster and author takes us through her life in television, including the Succession moment she witnessed first hand. 
Review: The Stolen Children of Aotearoa is confronting but essential viewing An unflinching new documentary exposes how state care became a weapon of colonisation in Aotearoa.

The Masked Singer NZ airs Sundays at 7pm and continues Mondays at 7.30pm on THREE and ThreeNow. 

Follow The Spinoff’s reality TV podcast The Real Pod on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favourite podcast provider.

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Roblox developer Alec Kieft (Image: Supplied/Tina Tiller)
Roblox developer Alec Kieft (Image: Supplied/Tina Tiller)

Pop CultureMay 7, 2021

Meet the New Zealander whose Roblox games have been played a billion times

Contributing writer
Roblox developer Alec Kieft (Image: Supplied/Tina Tiller)
Roblox developer Alec Kieft (Image: Supplied/Tina Tiller)

Alec Kieft is 23 years old, lives in a shared Wellington flat, and is this country’s most successful Roblox game developer by far. Hal Crawford talked to him.

Alec Kieft had been working on the game all through the final year of university. It was hard to keep his head in the books. When he finished his degree, while his friends were getting jobs at real companies, he decided just to go for it. He worked for three months solid and finished the game, releasing it into the world of Roblox, convinced it would fail. He sat back and prayed for the kids.

Roblox is a gaming platform for children. If you’ve heard of it, it may be because the US-based company is now worth more than $50b NZD after listing earlier this year, based on an explosion in popularity from 2017 and again during Covid. There are millions of games played by millions of users for millions of hours. Most of the games are free to play, with money only flowing from micro-transactions made within the gaming worlds.

Any user can make a Roblox game. Anyone with access to a computer or a smartphone can play Roblox. This is a universe with no barriers to entry, and like all such universes, it’s messy as hell.

“It can look terrible,” says Kieft. We are talking about what makes a good game in Roblox and why the whole thing is so popular. “The artwork itself is unimportant.”

Roblox is the JB-HiFi of the gaming world. I make the comparison to Kieft and with what seems to be typical curiosity, he wants to know more. I explain that at JB, the hand-written prices and shops with crap all over the place are part of the magic formula. My theory is that Roblox looks crap on purpose.

“Why do you think that is?” he asks me, turning the tables in the first interview he’s ever done. I get the feeling it won’t be his last.

A few of the user-made characters on the Roblox platform (Image: Roblox/supplied)

Playing first, developing second

Kieft is 23, lives in Wellington in a share house with two other guys, and makes games. To be precise, he makes Roblox games, and only Roblox games. The platform went beta back in 2006.

“For me, Roblox is what I know. I have been playing from 2009 and I’ve been developing from 2014. I am just so familiar with the platform that it would be silly to try something else.”

Roblox games are written in the Lua programming language. I look it up, and download the PDF manual. Before reading the first paragraph I contemplate chucking in my job and becoming a Roblox developer. I learn how to print “Hello World!” and my entrepreneurial ardour cools.

Successful game makers are pretty much the opposite of impulsive. Like film directors, they stick at a single idea for months or years at a stretch, chipping away at problems and paying attention to detail. Kieft says it takes months of full-time work to make a decent Roblox game.

“If a game does well, then there’s potential to earn a lot,” he says. “If a game doesn’t do well, you’ve spent three, four, or five months working on this thing and essentially [you’ve got] nothing. It is a risky business to be in.”

What success looks like

The most successful game of all time on Roblox is called Adopt Me!, an impossibly happy world of bright colours, cute animals and tinkling tunes. You get to dress your character up, nurse babies and look after pets hatched from giant eggs. It’s not my cup of tea.

“That would be the roleplay genre. The roleplay genre is where all the players are,” says Kieft. “It’s almost like Club Penguin … like an online social hangout. Adopt Me! and other games like Brookhaven are the modern equivalent of that.”

Feeling antipathy towards my giant starter egg, I quit the game and load another. This one, Murder Mystery 2, was a stayer in the earlier years of Roblox. Its icon features a massive dagger. Before long I’m watching my teammates get hacked to death while I hide.

It’s clear the games share the same engine: the graphics are blocky, and everything is centred around a third-person view of your character. There are opportunities to pay “Robux”, the in-game currency, for things like exotic pets or an in-game radio. Prices for items vary wildly, from cents to the equivalent of hundreds of dollars.

A scene from Alec Kieft’s wildly successful Roblox game, Break In

Break In breaks out

Kieft’s game, the one he decided to work on rather than get a job, is not in the roleplay genre. It’s called Break In, and is about a group of characters stuck in a house, besieged by an evil gang. It’s a story game, and the great thing about a story game, he tells me, is that it’s easy for YouTubers to make good videos about.

“YouTubers are always really hungry for new games to play, and the developers always want the free advertising … story games are fantastic content.”

This symbiosis came to the fore when Kieft took the plunge and sent Break In public.

“I was so certain that Break In wasn’t going to be a hit. I’d been working on it for so long and no one was playing it. I felt all the pressure to get into the tech industry and get a job somewhere. And then it released and just exploded. Way bigger than I ever thought was possible.”

The growth was organic. Kieft did not pay for marketing, and didn’t send it to any Youtubers. They found it anyway: a single video review of Break In by Youtuber Flamingo has received more than 14 million views. I watch the video, and am so impressed with Flamingo’s quick edits and monumental conceit that I am distracted into a mini-investigation. Flamingo, whose real name is Albert Aretz, has 9 million subscribers, employs a team of at least five people, and works exclusively on Roblox content.

When the video reviewing your game has 14 millions views, you can probably rest easy.

“I actually hit a milestone today,” Kieft tells me. “I actually had one billion sessions across all my games.”

“One billion” is easy to say and impossible to imagine.

David Baszucki, founder and CEO of Roblox, presents at the Roblox Developer Conference in August 2019. (Photo: Ian Tuttle/Getty Images for Roblox)

Straight to the account

The gamble has paid off, and what started as a trickle of revenue seven years ago has become “a comfortable living”. Kieft’s numbers are absolutely staggering. Break In alone has more than 750 million visits. Roblox transfers money – about 25% of in-game revenue – direct to his bank account.

“I actually have the mentality where I try not to check my earnings at all. Because I don’t want it to become about the money.”

Is he the most successful New Zealand Roblox developer?

“That would be accurate. I would worry though, because some of my friends are not far behind me.”

Kieft has released six games, five of which have made it into the “top ten visited”, which is ranked on how many people are playing games at any one moment. The game that didn’t make the list, Parkour Tower, released last year, still bothers him.

“To this day it remains a mystery. I have ideas why it didn’t work. And one day I would honestly like to go back and just try to change some things, because it still eats at me a little bit, thinking why, why don’t kids enjoy it?”

He sketches game ideas out on a notepad, “very messy and unorganised”.

“You have to be aware of what kids are interested in. All my games have been iterations on a game that I’ve enjoyed playing from another developer, and I’ll play that and think ‘This is great, but how can I make it my own thing?’”

Overnight success in 15 years

Roblox was founded by David Baszucki, a Canadian-born engineer with a long history in educational games and a remarkably consistent vision for his platform. You can find interviews with him decades apart where he is espousing the same kind of free, pleasant, engaging “metaverse”. Cohorts of children have been through Roblox and you can find plenty of “Roblox nostalgia” online already.

As far as Kieft is concerned, he will be developing for the platform in the long term.

“I have a lot of confidence that Roblox will be around for many years to come,” he says. “When I go to start learning [something else] I just think, it’s going to take me a long time to get good at this, I should just be pouring my creativity into something I am already good at.”

His next game? He wants to try every genre eventually, but the lure of a sequel to Break In beckons.

“I get messaged about it many times a day. But up until now, I just haven’t felt motivated to work on another story game. That motivation has finally come.”

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