spinofflive
BeFunky-collage.jpg

WellingtonJanuary 3, 2024

One day, 25 swims: A definitive ranking of Wellington’s best and worst beaches

BeFunky-collage.jpg

Sorting the soft sand and secluded bays from the jagged rocks and crashing waves.

On one of Wellington’s famed Good Days, beach aficionado Sara Elgoran set out on a quest to swim at every beach within the Wellington city council boundaries to determine, once and for all, which is best. 

Fourteen beach towels were harmed in the making of this article. 

25. Tarakena Bay

This was easily the worst swimming experience I have had in Wellington, maybe even in all of New Zealand. This is not a beach where any human should swim. It featured both sandy and rocky foreshore, which is the worst type. There were bits of seaweed floating that looked like toilet paper and it felt extremely grimey. I have no plans to return. 

24. Red Rocks/Pariwhero

Red Rocks beach. (Photo: Sara Elgoran)

Red Rocks, as the name suggests, are very rocky. It’s tough to get down to the water and I sustained my first (and only) injury of the day here, a cut to the foot. The magnificent views were overshadowed by my anxiety about swimming next to seals. I love them, but the thought of being near them in the water does not bring me joy. No seals were spotted but the lingering paranoia ruined the experience.

23. Waitaha Cove

Not an accessible beach. It’s a steep and perilous walk down to the thick, grimy water. It is at least more protected than Red Rocks. It would be lovely to lounge here if you don’t like swimming. 

22. Moa Point

My feet took an absolute battering on the rocky beaches, and Moa Point was no different. Even just hobbling to the water’s edge was an ordeal. The howls from the dog shelter over the road were vexatious to the spirit. It’s a great spot for diving, but stay away if you’re after a relaxing afternoon dip.   

21. Bay of Breaker Bay 

This is the bay in “Breaker Bay”, not what is commonly known as Breaker Bay. The beach was fine if you are desperate or have a particular affinity for rocks, which I do not. I can’t reiterate enough how sore my feet were. Taylor Swift came on the radio as I left and that was the only highlight. 

20. Mahanga Bay

Once again, too many rocks. My feet were hurting a lot at this point. There are plenty of nice sandy beaches just a bit further on, so there’s no point stopping here. I did see a tui though. 

19. Kau Bay

Kau Bay was fine but forgettable. Moving on. 

18. Ōwhiro Bay

Ōwhiro Bay (Photo: Sara Elgoran)

The beach was ravaged by seagulls, which are my least favourite part of the beach. Ōwhiro Bay has so much potential which has not been fully realised. The quirky architecture is nice, and you can see the South Island on a good day. On the other hand, there’s poo in the water and plenty of better beaches nearby. Unless you live in Ōwhiro Bay, there’s no point coming here. 

16 and 17. Shark Bay and Shelley Bay

These beaches have one of the most beautiful vistas of Wellington. This part of the coast would be fine if you are desperate for a swim, but as a destination, I would not recommend it at all.

15. Palmer Bay 

Palmer Bay was lovely. A hidden gem. It is stunning, secluded and felt pretty clean. It’s better protected from the wind than most beaches in the city. 

14. Mākara Beach

Mākara Beach. (Photo: Sara Elgoran)

Mākara Beach is ages away. I was cold, sunburnt and hungry. The thought of more rocks was daunting. I stopped in Karori for a kebab and steeled my gaze. I was committed to my mission and determined to enjoy Mākara. It’s one of the few places on earth where you can see ‘caution kiwi’ road signs. 

While I did not see a kiwi, I did spot some escaped chickens eating a dead animal off the road. 

Mākara Beach itself is not a destination swim spot, but it would be nice after a long walk. If you are after a West Coast-esque rugged beach or a great sunset, this is your spot. For a swim, it is functionally sufficient. 

13. Karaka Bays

There many bays in Karaka Bays, but they’re very similar and don’t appear to have separate names. I swam in all of them just to be safe. The best bay is the one with the jetty, phone box and the Lilliput library stand. It was a cute sign of community. Unfortunately, there was also a lot of rubbish floating around, which is probably a more accurate reflection of the locals (rich tossers). I picked up the rubbish and moved on. 

12. Little Scorching Bay

As far as I can tell, this beach doesn’t have an official name, but I’m calling it Little Scorching Bay. It’s the small bay just north of Scorching Bay. It was lovely. There isn’t much sand lounge on but it’s a good back up if you can’t find a car park at the main beach. It would have placed even higher if it was easier to access. 

11. Hataitai Beach 

I was genuinely shocked at how much I enjoyed Hataitai Beach. The beach isn’t much to look at, but it’s shallow, protected, and the water is surprisingly warm. It’s close to town, with a direct connection on the number 24 bus. The boat sheds and public toilets have a charming throwback aesthetic. There’s even a good jetty for jumping off beside the tennis court. The only downside is it gets a bit squidgy underfoot when wading. 

It’s a bit of an ugly duckling, but give it a chance, you’ll come to love it. 

10. Balaena Bay

After being punished by hoardes of rocky beaches, Balaena’s pebbles were a dream. For regular day-to-day beaching, it has everything you need – public transport access, close to the city, and nice water. 

9. Freyberg Beach

Freyberg Beach is the sandy outcrop of Oriental Bay, closest to the playground, where you will see everyone you have ever worked with half-naked on most summer afternoons. Pros: public toilets, a wharf to jump off, and lots of car parking. Cons: Very public, not enough bike parking, and it’s only a few metres away from the much better Oriental Beach. 

8. Breaker Bay

Breaker Bay is not “officially” a nude beach, but the naturalists have run the show here for years. The sand is gentle on the feet and other sensitive bits. I didn’t stay long, but just long enough to receive a knowing smile from an elderly man on his way to the special part of the beach behind the rocks. 

7. Oriental Beach

Oriental Bay beach (Photo: Wellington City Council)

Oriental Beach is the king of city beaches for a reason. It’s only a five-minute walk from Courtenay Place, which makes it the most popular after-work spot in the city on Wellington’s famed ‘Good Days’. It has a great view of the cityscape framed by Mount Kaukau. The abandoned “heritage” rotunda drags it down a bit though. 

The beach is unfortunately artificial and inauthentic. The sand is shipped in from Golden Bay each summer, but when you’re lying down soaking in the rays, you’re not really that worried about where the sand came from. 

6. Scorching Bay

I’ll be honest, I came into the day expecting Scorching Bay to come out on top. I have never had a bad day at Scorching Bay. It is a stunning beach with enough room to spread out and sizeable grass area for those less sand-inclined. Scorch-O-Rama cafe is a highlight. The big downside is accessibility – it does not have any public transport links and parking is difficult on a busy day. 

5. Seatoun Beach

Seatoun Beach is mind-blowingly beautiful. The Māori name is Te Turanga o Kupe, the landing place where Kupe left some of his people to grow food. It’s not hard to see why; it’s gorgeous, surrounded by luscious greenery. 

It is a bit unsettling that the beach is level with the road. The impacts of sea level rise were top of mind as I took a dip. A good friend of mine once described Seatoun as the best beach for skinny dipping if it weren’t so public. I have no idea what that means. 

4. Princess Bay

Princess Bay (Photo: Sara Elgoran)

Houghton Bay’s better little sister. It’s mostly better because it’s not contaminated (hence why Houghton Bay was excluded from this list). Princess Bay also has toilets, changing rooms and a huge drinking fountain. Like any good princess, the bay is calm and inviting (if a bit cold). 

3. Worser Bay

Worser Bay. (Photo: Sara Elgoran)

I had never been to Worser Bay before and I feel like I have been missing a part of my soul. It’s a rich-person beach with rows of sailboats, and the softest sand I have ever experienced in Wellington. It was the best swimming condition of any beach I tried, but it loses points for an elitist vibe and poor public transport connections.  

2. Island Bay

Island Bay beach (Photo: Sara Elgoran)

Island Bay is simply phenomenal. The beach is sheltered by Tapu Te Ranga Motu. The water is healthy due to the marine reserve, views are outstanding, and the vibes are good. The amenities are top-notch; public toilets, a cool playground (with a flying fox), a dairy and a cafe. 

I did slip off the pontoon, which bruised my ego a bit, but Island Bay still has a piece of my heart. 

1. Lyall Bay

Lyall Bay beach (source: Wellington City Council)

Here’s the thing about Lyall Bay: on a bad day, it’s a disaster. The sea is terrifying. The waves attack the rocks with true, heartfelt hatred. Sand whips against any exposed skin like buckshot. But on a good day? As they say about this glorious city, it is simply not possible to beat it. 

Lyall Bay has everything you could ever need. The rolling waves make for great surfing, body-surfing, and kite-surfing. The sandy expanse is comfortable for a lie-down, and long enough for a decent stroll with someone special. 

The public transport links are spectacular (the number 3 and 36 bus). Lyall Bay also has possibly the best fish & chips in Wellington (Fresko), mammoth ice creams (Seaview Takeaways) and three of the top cafes (Spruce Goose, Maranui, and The Botanist). When you’re sick of the beach, pop on over to Parrotdog for some pints, then have a cheeky peruse through the Briscoes sales. Lyall Bay does it all. 

Most importantly: Lyall Bay has lifeguards. We love safety. 

‘Become a member and help us keep local, independent journalism thriving.’
Alice Neville
— Deputy editor
Keep going!
FeatureImage_RotiCanaiRanking.png

KaiDecember 30, 2023

Wellington’s roti canai combos, ranked from worst to best

FeatureImage_RotiCanaiRanking.png

Summer reissue: It’s a Pōneke lunchtime institution, but which Malaysian roti canai and curry combo is best? Armed with a crack team of cousins and other third-culture kids, Preyanka Gothanayagi sets out to answer the question once and for all.

First published on October 27, 2023

If you walk through Wellington on any given day, you’ll probably stumble across what feels like several thousand different Malaysian restaurants. From the dazzlingly bright green walls of Little Penang on Victoria, to the various “Satays” that have conglomerated on Cuba, Malaysian cuisine is an important feature of the world’s OKest-unless-it’s-a-good-day city. 

As a Malaysian-Indian who has lived in Wellington for the past 11 years, I rely on the solid fare and chaotic decor of Wellington’s Malaysian scene to regularly stave off homesickness. 

Malaysian food is legitimately the best food in the world. That’s because it’s actually a coalition of three powerhouse cuisines – Malay food, Chinese food and Indian food. These are the three main ethnic groups found in the homeland, and while the politics may not be stable, our food most certainly is.

You can see this expressed in every Malaysian joint in Wellington. While food stalls in Malaysia specialise in different dishes and cuisines, the restaurants here typically don’t. Malaysian-Indian restaurants serve up traditionally Malay dishes, Malaysian-Chinese menus feature Indian-esque curry, and everyone offers their own version of the famous mamak-style roti canai that can be found anywhere and everywhere back home.

Armed with a crack team of my cousins and other third-culture kids, I set out on a life-changing journey of eating the same thing 14 times with the ultimate goal of finding Pōneke’s best roti canai and curry combo.

We judged each restaurant based on what we know good Malaysian food to be. Also, the vibes. Here are Wellington’s roti canai combos, ranked from worst to best.

14. Oriental Kingdom 

Left Bank, 116 Cuba St

$11.50

2.5/10

Oriental Kingdom is a student staple, beloved for its affordable food, barely-enforced BYO policy, and easy-to-clean concrete floors. The staff were lovely, and the dim lighting and mismatched decor is textbook Malaysian. 

However, the food was not the go. The roti looked like folded paper. To add insult to injury, there was zero flake, which is essential to rate highly on this list.

The curry, though, was worse. It was watery, with over-boiled chicken, and a confusing turpentine-esque aftertaste. One flatmate declared it was “the worst curry she’s ever tasted”, while another tried to eject it out of his mouth mid-bite. A disappointing experience all round, especially since we forgot to bring alcohol.

13. Satay Kingdom Cafe

Left Bank, 212 Cuba St

$9

3/10

The bright side of this venue was the literal brightness. We dined outside under something akin to 90s fluorescent office lighting. It felt like a street stall back home, minus about 20 degrees of heat.

The downside was the actual food. While the roti was sweet, soft and pleasant (though not crispy!), the curry was once again watery. It was like someone had tossed turmeric powder into chicken stock and called it a day. 

Strangely, a standout letdown here was the potato, which is a crucial element in most chicken curries. These ones tasted like fried hot chips? Impressive, but not in a good way.

12. Cinta Malaysian Kitchen

1/119 Manners St

$12

4/10

Cinta Malaysia is a cosy little spot with the usual odd Malaysian sense of decor – in this case, a giant fork and spoon on one of the walls, and not much else. My flatmate Grace said it was so homely, it was like she was back in Hastings. I think that’s a good thing. 

The roti canai was solid, if nothing special. Sweet, crunchy but also a bit chewy, OK overall. But the curry was saltier than I’d like, the chicken was dry (overcooked), while the potato was hard (undercooked)(how??).

The real deal breaker, however, was the garnish. You just don’t garnish a Malaysian curry.

11. KK Malaysia

54 Ghuznee St

$14.50

4/10

Grant Robertson loves KK Malaysia so much that he was interviewed there twice. Both profiles take pride of place on the walls, alongside some other newspaper clippings and a painting of some alliums. His favourite dish is the rendang, if you were wondering.

KKs is supposed to be really good. When the curry came out, my cousin was convinced that it was going to be the one. It smelled like home, and it had that bright orange colour and slight oil sheen that made us feel so hopeful.

Alas, our hopes were quickly dashed. For all its promise, the curry was – dare I say it – bland. Definitely not home, maybe a cheap hotel at best. The roti was soft and kinda good, but it wasn’t enough to save the day.

Ah well. They had nice plates.

10. Satay Village

58 Ghuznee St

$14.50

5/10

Satay Village has the brightly coloured walls (yellow) and mismatched decor that at this point we recognised as a prerequisite for any Malaysian restaurant. The atmosphere was pretty chill, and occasionally chilly due to the door not fully closing. 

The curry was a brighter yellow than the walls – it definitely stood out from the crowd. Floating in the incandescent puddle was one dry bit of chicken and a sad piece of potato that disintegrated on contact, but the flavour was alright – creamy and mild. It met the criteria for a curry.

The two large, handmade rotis were serviceable enough, if not spectacular. But the ratio was off, and we ran out of curry quickly.

9. Rasa Malaysia

200 Cuba St

$28.50 – $20.50 for curry, $8 for roti x 2)

5.5/10 (Aunty Nona said 3.5, but was outvoted)

I admit I have a pre-existing bias against Rasa because despite its “truly Malaysian and South Indian essence”, it feels like it’s not aimed at me, or my Paati. So to help keep things impartial, I invited my Indian mother-in-law along and left her to it. 

“A confusing and dusty collection of wall ornamentation,” was her first official proclamation. Alongside their Malaysian elements, they had North Indian puppets, African drums, and two bamboo rainsticks (famously not Malaysian). The walls were adorned with jars of pickles she decided were “charmingly Mediterranean”. 

Aunty Nona also wasn’t impressed by either the curry or the roti, which she felt was missing “subtle flavours that provide depth”. I seriously considered just handing the whole project over to her. 

8. The Long Bar on Brandon

22 Brandon St

$16

7/10

This place is a hidden gem in the middle of corporate Wellington, and my go-to during the work week. 

Once again, we are treated to bright yellow walls, which always cheers me up. There’s also this huge mural of what I can only describe as a “perky” group of musicians. I assume it was inherited rather than a proactive design choice, and I am absolutely here for it. 

A fascinating choice of decor.

The roti canai looked like the frozen stuff I use at home, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing – when cooked well, it’s a solid choice. The curry had lovely flavours, and while it was slightly weak, I’d probably order it again.

7. Aunty Mena’s

167 Cuba St

$18

7/10

I’ve always thought that Malaysian food could never be vegan. There’s so much hidden animal product involved – fish sauce, oyster sauce, eggs – and it’s everywhere.

Aunty Mena’s might, might, have proved me wrong.

It’s not “authentic” as such, but the flavours were lovely. And after eating so much chicken, I was grateful for the well-cooked vegetables. The roti wasn’t like traditional roti (which has egg in it), but was tasty anyway. Our biggest issue was that it was too sweet, and the curry slightly too salty, so you had to eat them together to balance both out. 

We also loved the tree mural and miscellaneous wooden furniture. It had primary school camp vibes, but without your friend’s mum’s bad pumpkin soup.

6. Little Penang 

179 Victoria St

$15

7.5/10

Little Penang is a Wellington Malaysian institution with bright green walls. They’ve got their menu down to a fine art, including a rotating list of daily specials, and a few Malaysian hard-hitters that you don’t get everywhere. My mum recommends the rojak.

Penang itself is actually a state within Malaysia, and they have some of the best street food in the world. As its Wellington representatives, Little Penang doesn’t disappoint – especially their char kuey teow, which is straight fire. 

As for their roti and curry, it wasn’t a bad option. Their nyonya curry had rich flavours and a really nice level of coconutty sweetness, but there was so much chicken we struggled to get to the sauce. The roti was fluffy and soft, but fell just short of the crunch and flake levels we were looking for. 

5. Satay Palace

165 Cuba St

$14

8/10

Cosy, understated, green (again). You say dimly lit, I say homely. You say some of the lights don’t work, I say that’s intentional. It’s called ambience.

Their curry was one of the few curries that contained curry leaves. For the uninitiated, those are leaves you put in your curry. I personally didn’t like the slight turmeric flavour, but the more you eat, the more it grows on you. 

The roti was flaky and buttery, with a hint of sweetness. The bathroom also doubles as their storage and cleaning closet, and the resulting chaos is very on brand for this cuisine. 

4. R&S Satay Noodle House 

148 Cuba St

$12.50

8/10

Full disclaimer: R&S is my favourite restaurant in the whole of Wellington. I go there so often, the uncle there knows my order by heart (best Hainanese chicken rice in the city, come at me). 

If you don’t know it, it’s that place next to the army surplus store with walls so bright my brother in Melbourne green-screened himself into my graduation photos. 

I wanted to rig this thing and give them top billing because I am fiercely loyal. But in the end, they earned a well-deserved fourth place on their own. The roti was delicious – flaky, layered, a good level of crunch and a good amount of sweetness. 

As for the curry, it had flavour. The chicken was tender, the potato soft like it should be. Slightly watery, but not a dealbreaker. 

3. Istana Malaysia

1 Allen St

$12.90 (lunch special)

8.5/10

We got off to a bad start – when we ordered one curry and two rotis between four of us, the aunty taking our order was not pleased. It was valuable table space, apparently, for only one meal. It’s ingrained into me to not disappoint an aunty, so we ate fast. 

I hate to admit it, but it was worth it. The roti was delightful. Crispy on the outside, pull-apart and doughy on the inside, with a little bit of well-earned oiliness.

The curry had a good depth of flavour, with a slight spicy kick. It was hearty, exactly as it should be. I might sneak back in when aunty’s not looking.

2. Nyonya Malaysia 

Willis Lane, 1 Willis St

$16.90

9/10

The newest entrant on the list, Nyonya Malaysia just opened in the recently refurbished Willis Lane food court. There’s a cool atmosphere, it’s conveniently close to my office, and open late. I had high hopes.

They didn’t disappoint. My cousins and I agreed it felt authentically Malaysian – mostly because the place was packed, and we couldn’t hear ourselves think. You could also watch them make your food over the countertop, and I guess that counts as authentic too. (When you’re this far from Asia, you take what you can get.)

The meal was served in a takeaway container, and the portion was generous. This was one of our favourite curries in Wellington, with a good depth of flavour, and a satisfying kick of spice. 

The roti was the frozen stuff, but cooked so well. Crisp, buttery, soft perfection. If you can cook it this well, it doesn’t have to be handmade.

1. Satay Malaysia

255 Cuba St

$18.50 curry, $10 roti x 2 (lunch menu)

10/10

Near the top of Cuba Street, nestled among the burgers and the communists is a small restaurant with elevator jazz music and a bamboo accent wall. It’s so unassuming that you might walk past it, like I’ve done all my life. That is, until now.

This is it. The best roti canai and chicken curry in the whole of Wellington central. It’s almost exactly like what you’d get in Malaysia at a stall on the side of the road, the roti wrapped in newspaper and the curry in a plastic bag (we’re not big on recycling just yet). The roti was handmade, light, airy, buttery goodness, and it soaked up the curry like magic. The curry had flavour, depth and nuance. It was poetry. No bad potatoes in sight. 

No other pairing worked together like this – and this dish really is a marriage made in heaven (by which I mean a semi-abandoned block of Cuba St). In this one little shop that no one seems to know about, every element was on point. 

10/10, no notes.

‘If you regularly enjoy The Spinoff, and want it to continue, become a member today.’
Toby Manhire
— Editor-at-large
But wait there's more!