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BusinessMay 17, 2024

Milking it: The man behind New Zealand’s weirdest legal cases

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From illegal milk to sprinkler bans and airplane ticket scams, Tyrone Barugh is on a one-man mission through New Zealand’s most obscure legal loopholes.

I’m deep undercover, investigating Wellington’s criminal underworld. Inside this store, I’ve been told there is a million-dollar trade in illicit substances. A man dressed in black nods at me as I enter. I’m wearing a hoodie and a mask to hide my face. I take some deep breaths and try to control my racing heart. I walk quickly, but not too quickly, across the vinyl floor to find what I came for. I pay with cash, keeping my voice low and the conversation short. I feel a pang of guilt for breaking the law, but I know for the sake of journalism I had to prove what was happening. 

Back outside on the street, I can barely believe what I’m holding in my hands. It’s meant to be illegal to sell anywhere in Wellington. I’ve just purchased one litre of skim milk from Thorndon New World. 

Across the road from the supermarket, Tyrone Barugh greets me at the office of Spilt Milk Law. It’s not what you’d expect from a central Wellington law firm – no glittering glass walls or oak bookcases filled with leather-bound volumes. The office is the size of a large wardrobe, with a single wooden desk and plain off-white walls. The polite way to describe it would be minimalist. “It’s pretty depressingly undecorated,” Barugh says. “It’s a terrible, terrible office, but it’s very cheap.”

The founder, managing director and only employee of the firm, Barugh is wearing a pink slim-fit suit, with non-matching green and orange socks sticking out the bottom of his trousers. His hair is an unkempt mane of curly brown, paired with a slug of a moustache that belongs on a 1980s cricketer. If the Alternative Commentary Collective had an in-house lawyer, it would be him.  He looks like he’s playing a character – and maybe he is. 

Barugh is the man behind some of New Zealand’s strangest legal crusades. Most recently, he made international headlines for his scheme to book and cancel 58 Jetstar flights as part of a return-for-free special, then claim back NZ$3,540 in Australian passenger movement charges, a tax included in the ticket price of flights out of Australia. (He previously tried to goad the Australian government into arresting him for not paying the charge.) He’s become a TikTok personality for his videos offering obscure and sometimes morally questionable legal advice. For example: Provided you’re over the age of 20, it’s perfectly legal to enjoy a beer while driving a car, as long as you aren’t over the limit or driving in an alcohol-ban zone. It’s probably not illegal to stowaway on the InterIslander ferry. Buying cream chargers (nangs) from your local dairy is less legally risky than most drugs, but not risk-free.  

He’s built a small but passionate following of fellow lawyers who follow along with his eccentric cases – but not everyone feels the same way. One email he received after the Jetstar scheme, read: “You’re a disgrace, not just to the legal profession, but to humanity as a whole.”  

The case that put Barugh on the map in the world of legal light entertainment was his attempt to enforce the all-but-forgotten Wellington Milk Supply Act 1919. It began when Barugh was on “a stupid quest to read all of the law….I realised pretty quickly it was an impossible endeavour, and really fucking boring. There’s just too many of them. So I said I’m at least going to read the names of every single statute in New Zealand. I had a few beers and made it down to “W” when I saw it: Wellington City Milk Supply Act 1919. What the fuck is this?”

Tyrone Barugh supping on some illegal Wellington milk. Photo: Joel MacManus

The law, which has never been repealed, grants Wellington City Council a legal monopoly over all milk in the city. Any business that wants to supply milk in Wellington needs a license from the council. The law also makes it illegal to sell or possess skim milk within the city boundaries. Back in 1919, there were concerns about health problems from dodgy milk suppliers, so this was a way to regulate the market. In the century since, the milk industry has changed, but the law hasn’t.

“There’s illegal milk everywhere,” Barugh says. He wrote to New World, Moore Wilsons, and the Shalimar Four Square to inform them their milk was in flagrant breach of the law. “I was like ‘I’m going to shut you down’… I got no response.” Then, he applied for a licence to supply milk. The plan was to open a pop-up milkbar with milk-based cocktails, and promote it as the only legal milk in town. Council staff informed him they no longer give licenses for milk. In their view, the law had been “deprecated”. 

‘Hutt Valley, Kāpiti, down to the south coast. Our Wellington coverage is powered by members.’
Joel MacManus
— Wellington editor

“That’s not even a legal term,” Barugh says. “The only time I’ve ever heard people say shit has been deprecated is software engineers talking about old code.” Laws can be “impliedly repealed” if parliament passes a new act covering the same issue, but Barugh didn’t think that was the case here. He filed for a bespoke appeal at the High Court demanding the council give him a milk license. Victoria University law professor Dean Knight wrote in support of his argument. 

The case hit a wall when the council threatened to go after him for legal costs, something Barugh wasn’t willing to risk for the sake of a laugh. He struck a deal in settlement that the council would write to the relevant minister and ask for the law to be repealed – but so far, it hasn’t happened. The Wellington City Milk Supply Act is still on the books, and the capital is still flooded with illegal milk. 

When I ask what motivated him to take on such an obscure and frankly pointless mission, he adopts an unusually serious tone. “I thought it was an important fight to take for rule of law purposes. It’s important that people know what the law says, and can trust that when laws are no longer fit for purpose, there is good regulatory stewardship to make sure that those laws are taken off the books.” Then, he’s back in his casual voice: “Yeah, something like that. And I thought it was pretty funny. It would be hilarious to sell milk. Some melange of all those things.”

Barugh keeps doing this. He pitches himself as a laissez-faire jokester, but there is an underlying sincerity. He’s clearly leaning into his blokey, semi-ironic TikTok persona for me as we chat. Is he playing a character, or is this his real personality? “I think most of it’s me. It’s me outside of work more than me in work mode. If I’m having a work conversation, I have a very professional, very measured tone. I sound like some sort of private school dickhead.”

When I ask about his previous work as in-house government lawyer, he speaks highly of it. “It was a chance to do really meaningful work and to support colleagues who are really trying very hard to make New Zealand a better place. I say a lot of insincere, jokey things, but I feel that pretty strongly.” 

In his TikTok videos, he uses the tagline “I’m a very good lawyer”. It sounds sarcastic, but it isn’t. He is undeniably highly qualified, experienced, and good at spotting angles no one else has noticed. “I enjoy the obscure, and the unusual, and I probably take more pleasure than I should from when things don’t work in the way they were intended to work.” He says that comes partly from a place of cynicism. “I know that people cut corners doing this sort of work.” 

Outside of work, he’s involved with effective altruism, a movement focused on doing good in the most mathematically effective ways possible. Within his work, he has strong views about inequality and access to justice in the legal system. “I care. But equally, I just see the funny side of things,” he says. 

When he talks about Spilt Milk Law, Barugh describes his firm self-deprecatingly, like he is just messing around with a silly project. But again, there’s that same underlying sincerity. He’s identified a genuine need for low-cost legal consultations, so people can get the basic advice they need without the full cost of hiring a lawyer. “I thought I could do a day of $99 and $150 consultations back to back, do it all really efficiently, and solve a small piece of the access to justice puzzle.” It’s not a full-time business for him just yet, but it is growing. 

Another of his side quests is to get registered as a lawyer in as many territories as possible. So far, he has certificates for Pitcairn Islands, British Indian Ocean Territory, New South Wales and New Zealand. He currently has an application before the courts in the Solomon Islands, which will add another to his collection – but this one isn’t just for a laugh. “There is access to justice issue there,” he says. The Solomon Islands has very few lawyers per capita, and he hopes to offer cheap or pro bono online consultations for people who might not currently be able to afford or access legal services. 

Tyrone Barugh in the office of Spilt Milk Law. Photo: Joel MacManus

So, what’s next? Is there another Wellington Milk Supply Act hiding somewhere that no one has noticed? One option is some action against Wellington City Council for its summertime water ban, which Barugh thinks was unenforceable and incorrectly applied. “The council was watering a bunch of shit, despite being subject to the restrictions. The council also said business users weren’t subject to the restrictions, but there didn’t seem to be justification for that in the bylaw. So I think it’s quite unfair that the council was allowing businesses to not cut back their water use, while telling people not to use sprinklers.”

Mostly though, he is focused on trying to make Spilt Milk Law into a viable business. In part, that’s because he’s worried his public persona has gone too far, and he might not get another job as a government lawyer. “Have I done too much wacky shit yet? Am I going to do too much wacky shit, or is this totally OK? I don’t have a good mental model of what the typical person thinks.”

Keep going!
What more could a mum possible want? (Image: Tina Tiller)
What more could a mum possible want? (Image: Tina Tiller)

SocietyMay 11, 2024

The Steve Awards 2024: Honouring the year’s worst Mother’s Day marketing

What more could a mum possible want? (Image: Tina Tiller)
What more could a mum possible want? (Image: Tina Tiller)

Out of gift ideas for mum? You can’t go wrong with a bottle of toilet cleaner and a new squeegee.

Emily Writes is the writer and editor of Emily Writes Weekly.

This week marks five years since I published a post on The Spinoff about Mother’s Day marketing titled ‘A leaked transcript from the Farmers Mother’s Day catalogue planning meeting’.

Since then, I’ve had the immeasurable joy of having people yell out SHAVE HER, WEIGH HER, BRUSH HER TEETH at me in bars, at events, and even once in a supermarket. Every year since, readers of the Emily Writes Weekly have sent me diabolical Mother’s Day marketing. Together, we have had an annual ‘Steve Awards’ for appalling Mother’s Day marketing.

Today I present to you the best of the worst of 2024 Mother’s Day. I’ll leave it to you to crown your own winner.

Steve from PB Tech

It was a promising start from Steve with a ‘WELOVEMUM’ promo code to use but things quickly went down hill with the tagline: Gift ideas for the mum who loves health and personal care.

I know what you’re thinking: What mum does not love “health and personal care”? But a quick look at the ‘gifts’ selected might make you think again.

We are very squarely in the SHAVE HER, WEIGH HER, BRUSH HER TEETH territory here with the first gift on offer being a facial hair remover and the third being a Beurer Bluetooth body fat scale with large LCD display, Weight capacity: 180 kg , Weight, body fat, body water, muscle percentage, bone mass, AMR/BMR calorie display, with BMI calculation.

Steve from TSB Living

Oh Steve, it’s almost a beautiful haiku –

Celebrate the Wonderful Woman who gave you Life

with our Mother’s Day sale!

Sadly, the advertised Mother’s Day gift is a treadmill because your mum is a heifer. No I’m kidding! She’s not! She is an AI copy of the Briscoes Lady and a treadmill is coming out of her chin! Get her surgery, not a bloody treadmill!

The money tongue emoji is slightly manic, no?

Steve from Mighty Ape

Come on. I mean, you just can’t get your mum a toilet seat for Mother’s Day. Even if she’s the worst mum in the world. Even if she needs a toilet seat. Even if it’s a fancy one with….buttons?!? Just no. But also, does the seat warm up? Because that is kind of cool.

Steve from Spotlight

Imagine you bought a beautiful pair of Italian leather boots. Now imagine your child bedazzling them and giving them back to you for Mother’s Day. Thanks Steve.

I love some piece of shit handmade present as much as the next mum, but if you touch my shoes then you’re going to live with Nana… forever.

Briscoes Steve

Someone behind the camera is maybe threatening the Briscoes Lady and that’s why she’s doing this video. It’s clearly under duress. Because getting your mother a towel for Mother’s Day is bizarre and frankly a crime of some kind. I don’t know what law it would fall under, but I feel confident that it’s definitely illegal.

Steve, let her go. And stop making her wear a wig over her real hair.

Bunnings Steve

Oh where to start….

This one was sent in by a reader who said her friend’s Bunnings display included 2kg of Surf laundry powder. We can’t verify that one but goodness, this is bleak. Magic cleaning paste? Toilet cleaner? GIANT SWISS PANSY FLOWER (OK, that’s fine but the rest just isn’t).

Pak’nSave Westgate Steve

Mum, I love you. But it’s important that you know that you have a lot of unwanted body hair and I need you to be a smooth as a dolphin OK? Just completely hairless.

Glassguard Steve – our 2024 Steve Award winner

Make Mother’s Day SPECIAL with Thoughtful Gifts for a Clean and Safe Home! This year, why not surprise your Mum with a gift that not only shows your appreciation but also REMOVES MOULD. Yes, it’s the dream of every exhausted mother: a MOULD REMOVER & PROTECT KIT.

Not quite right for the woman who literally gave you life? Well, give her the GLASS STAIN & MOULD REMOVER KIT. It’s described as “For Mums who value a crystal-clear view”. It also “saves her valuable time spent on scrubbing”.

Steve is on fire truly as he suggests we give her “the gift of pristine windows without the effort”. No honestly, he’s on fire. I can see a woman rushing away with a mop.

Someone has put him out and he’s yelling something… oh it’s “Give your Mum the gift of a cleaner and more hygienic bathroom with Bath & Toilet Nanocoat”. Tell your mum you love her by talking about how her gift results in 95% fewer shit stains on her pristine toilet. That’s love.

You’re right, that squeegee is a stunning colour.

DO YOU FEEL PAMPERED YET?!

Honorary Steve shoutouts

Steve from Philips 

I will throw Philips a bone because they literally don’t sell anything except razors. But honestly, just stop trying to shave us and brush our teeth. It’s freaking us all out.

Steve from Pink Tools

A hard one because I hate the pinkification of Mother’s Day but I would also like pink tools?! But this got sent to me many times so a lot of women think Steve is a Pink Tool.

Steve from New World Centre City

Because I do love a whimsical sausage, I can’t lie. And I would laugh if I saw a LIMITED-EDITION HEART-SHAPED SAUSAGES sign – and we all need a good laugh right?

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mums. You deserve the world.

But wait there's more!