Alex Casey makes a mystical attempt to predict the winner of Celebrity Treasure Island before the game has even begun.
The only thing one can ever predict about Celebrity Treasure Island is that it always unpredictable. In the very beginning, you can never quite tell which former human rights commissioner is going to start talking about possum genitalia (Dame Susan Devoy), which former All Black is going to sulk about sleeping on the top bunk (Christian Cullen), or which Shortland Street star is going to whip out the inflatable coat hangers (Lynette Forday).
This can make it tricky to interview the contestants ahead of their time in the game, something I was recently invited to do at a top secret Northland location. With their bellies still full and their clothes still clean, there’s no way of knowing who is for real when they say they aren’t competitive (Polly Gillespie) or that they don’t know how to play the game (David Correos). So in the name of journalistic integrity, I bravely decided to turn to the tarot instead, asking each celebrity who was up for it to pick a card… any card.
Harrison Keefe and Polly Gillespie: King of Pentacles
Meaning: Some keywords on my tatty tarot interpretation PDF included security, strength, generosity, discipline and materialism. Interestingly, this card was pulled twice, and both times by well-known radio personalities in Harrison Keefe and Polly Gillespie.
Reaction: Keefe was nervous about choosing his card – “what if it’s really bad? What if it’s dying?” – and I didn’t have the heart to tell him that the last time I did this at CTI, Jordan Vandermade pulled “Death” and was immediately beamed across the head by an airborne gazebo like something out of Final Destination. Thankfully, he was chuffed with his pick. “I’m happy with that,” he said. Even the word materialism? “Yeah, that’s like phones and stuff.”
Gillespie also latched onto the phrase materialism. “That’s about all my beauty products,” she laughed, later revealing she got eyelash extensions especially for the island. Balancing out the material was another keyword which Gillespie also found resonant: generosity. “I did tell the girls that when I get kicked out I will give them all my beauty products.”
Louis Davis and Georgia Lines: Two of Swords
Meaning: The interpretation of this card took us on a real journey, beginning with words like indecision and hesitation, evolving to phrases like courage, conflict and balance. Based on the trailer, there is going to be no shortage of conflict in the upcoming season.
Reaction: TikTok star Louis Davis took umbrage with the confusing messaging behind the card – “these are all conflicting words!” – before finding peace with it. “I interpret this card as the composed warrior, I’m ready to scrap but we also don’t have to” he said, dropping an ancient samurai proverb: “It’s better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war.”
Singer Georgia Lines also took a fittingly balanced approach to picking this card. “I will happily receive that,” she said. “I mean, this whole experience is slightly nerve-wracking and exciting, it is very much the school camp vibe – who am I going to get paired up with?” Just like her fellow swordsman Davis, she too ended on a wise adage: “at least everybody’s in the same boat.”
Nix Adams: The Fool
Meaning: Depicting a young jolly jester taking steps out into the world, The Fool represents new beginnings, wonder, spontaneity and potential.
Reaction: “That sits real good,” laughed the social media sensation, who is no stranger to fooling around with cheap wigs and questionable recipes online. “Foolishness. Could that be my cover? Could that be my front?” She raised a single eyebrow like The Rock, and frankly didn’t need to say anything else on the matter.
Portia Woodman: Strength
Meaning: An absolute stormer of a card to get before a fierce survival competition, with keywords including inner strength, bravery, focus, personal achievement and faith.
Reaction: “Bravery, I like that,” beamed the decorated Olympian. “Inner strength, I got that.”
Frank Bunce: Seven of Swords
Meaning: All about betrayal and deception, trickery and cheating, how very fitting for a social strategy game which once saw Tāmati Coffey allegedly cheat during a challenge and try and make up for it with a very small flannel!
Reaction: Bunce had a mischievous grin as he absorbed all the dastardly, deceitful keywords, and sat back in his chair quietly. I asked him how those words resonated. “Very well.” he said, devilishly. “That’s very interesting.”
Vinnie Bennett: Page of Pentacles
Meaning: The page of pentacles is considered a “student” card, one centred around diligence, development and potential. It’s also known to symbolise new financial opportunities, such as the chance to win $100,000 for your chosen charity.
Reaction: “It makes sense,” actor Vinnie Bennett mused. I probed him about the word “development” in particular – could he be the contestant this season who is set to have a Duncan Garner-style personal transformation on the island? “Maybe,” Bennett said, looking out over the Pacific Ocean, “maybe.”
Liv Parker: Queen of Cups
Meaning: The embodiment of nurturing energy, a card centred around creativity, warmth, compassion, change, and strong emotions.
Reaction: “Tarot is real.”
David Correos: Eight of Pentacles
Meaning: Represents apprenticeship and skill development, learning and high standards. The perfect card for someone coming to CTI to upskill in their potato-in-a-hole throwing, or their monkey-tower-building.
Reaction: Correos drew this card after doing the most dramatic croupier-style shuffle I have ever seen in my life. “I was a magician,” he grinned. The comedian also connected with having high standards: “I am very punitive towards myself, and that’s the high standards kicking in.” At least he needn’t worry about his shuffling skills.
Sammi Poole: Five of Cups
Meaning: The first true bleak card of the bunch, representing frustration, giving up, loss and loneliness. Uh-oh…
Reaction: “Oh my goodness,” uttered Miss New Zealand winner Sammi Poole. Ever the pageant-queen diplomat, she was able to find a positive spin on loneliness. “Our team has made sure that I don’t feel that,” she said. Give her the crown now.
Zion Dayal: Queen of Pentacles
Meaning: Move over Polly Gillespie, there’s a new generous card in the mix. This Queen is an Earth mother type, all about nurturing, practicality, abundance and generosity.
Reaction: TVNZ sports reporter Zion Dayal had just been saying he has honesty in abundance before he pulled this particular card. “I can’t lie to anyone,” he said. As for generosity? “If someone’s really hungry, I’m very content to share.” A good sport in more ways than one.
Ria Vandervis: King of Wands
Meaning: A powerful card rich in the type of meaning anyone would love to take into several weeks stranded on a beach with only rice and beans: loyalty, success, leadership and vision.
Reaction: “I like where this is going,” said Vandervis. “That makes me feel bloody awesome.” Harper may be long dead, but there appears to be plenty of life in the game left for this Shortland Street actor.
Te Ao O Hinepehinga: Four of Cups
Meaning: In an attempt to put a positive spin on yet another gloomy-looking card, I suggested this could be a warning about what to look out for in one’s self on CTI: withdrawal, turning away from situations, feeling uninspired, being stubborn.
Reaction: “I was literally feeling uninspired this morning,” laughed Te Ao, who had indeed been seen hunched over her laptop in the final hours before the contestant’s technology was to be taken off them. “I’m trying to finish a proposal for a project I’m working on, so I’ve been trying to smash it out.” Sounds stubborn! “I am stubborn,” she said. “I don’t know if I will be good at the endurance challenges, but I am stubborn enough to see how long I will last.”
Ben Barrington: Eight of Wands
Meaning: A card that contains all the momentum and thrills of a poonami in a Ferndale villa, representing excitement, urgency, action, rhythm and change.
Reaction: The man we call Drew drew some deeper meanings of his own here. “Rhythm is essential for any team functioning as a unit – you all have to be in step with each other – so that’s perfect. We’re going to go from good, to better, to best.” Fighting words indeed.
Celebrity Treasure Island begins Monday night, 7.30pm on TVNZ2 and TVNZ+.
