spinofflive
DR BLOOM

SocietyMarch 13, 2021

From assiduous to zero: The Dictionary of Dr Ashley Bloomfield

Staff writer
DR BLOOM

A year ago yesterday, the World Health Organisation formally declared the Covid-19 crisis a pandemic, and we were all becoming accustomed to using the word ‘epidemiological’ in everyday conversation. New Zealanders’ vocabularies have grown since, in large part thanks to one man.

When Ashley Bloomfield used the word “assiduous” multiple times in a Covid-19 press conference last month, he unexpectedly sent the country into a spin. It’s a lovely word, but nobody seemed to know what it meant. Google Trends reported a sudden spike in New Zealand searches for the term, which then caused understated Facebook page Fans of Sir Dr Ashley Bloomfield to declare the director general of health “New Zealand’s smartest person”.

Hard to know if that’s true, because I’ve never forgotten those dogs who drove cars on Campbell Live, but it does feel like a year of Covid-19 updates has turned us into a nation of armchair epidemiologists. For more than 12 months now, we’ve soaked up all the sciencey words the director general of health has chucked at us, and now we’re casually throwing around phrases like “critical serology testing” and “absolutely rigid infection control” like we were born holding a bunsen burner. 

THIS IS WHAT ASSIDUOUS LOOKS LIKE

Bloomfield’s press conferences are often filled with big words, brainy words, words that get repeated over and over again. But day by day and phrase by phrase, his extensive vocabulary is making us smarter. Last autumn Bloomy was in our earlobes, by summer he was in our brains. Who knows where he’ll be by winter, so until then, let’s wrap our tongues around some of the entries from the Dictionary of Ashley Bloomfield.

Assiduous 

Put it on your Tinder profile, tattoo it across your heart: hello, I’m Assiduous. It’s the word of 2021, the phrase that had us opening up both our brains and our dictionaries during January’s community case scare. Officially assiduous means “to show great care and perseverance”, but now it also means “Ashley Bloomfield’s heart has swelled with pride over your impressive commitment to the Covid-19 Tracer app”. 

Bluetooth (turned on)

Lucky bluetooth.

ASHLEY BLOOMFIELD DEMONSTRATES HOW TO TURN ON YOUR BLUETOOTH, JANUARY 2021

Caution – abundance of

It’s the phrase that’s seen us through level changes, contact tracing and testing criteria, and now it’s filtering into our everyday lives. Last week I couldn’t decide if an avocado was ripe enough, so I applied an Ashley Bloomfield abundance of caution to the situation and waited until the following day to cut into it. Level one tension, level one result. 

Dissonance

The fancy word Bloomfield used in August 2020 to describe the absolute shitshow of a communication breakdown between the Ministry of Health, who failed to test border workers, and the government, who believed testing was taking place. See also: Bus, thrown under, and David Clark.

Epidemiological 

We couldn’t say it this time last year, now it rolls right off the tongue. Say it five times quickly. Easy.

Fomite transmission

I might, you might, we all might for fomites. One of Bloomfield’s faves during the August lockdown, relating to the possible transfer of Covid-19 via a contaminated surface. 

ASHLEY’S FACE WHEN YOU SAY ‘EPIDEMIOLOGICAL’

Genome sequence

Chuck on a lab coat and scatter bicarbonate of soda to the four winds, because we’re all genome experts these days. This genetic testing shows the path of the virus, and is key to whether we should start to freak out or not. Unrelated to garden gnomes, unless they’re symptomatic or have recently travelled from overseas. 

Gosh

Probably the closest Bloomy has come to swearing, ever. Used sparingly for extra impact, “gosh” described the surprise Bloomfield imagined the public felt when the Covid-19 Tracer App reminded us what we were doing 13 days ago. 

Helpful (extremely, incredibly)

Some of us would say ffs scan in, Ashley says it would be extremely helpful. 

Initial referencing of the cycle threshold values

My cycle threshold is going up a single tiny hill in first gear, but Ashley likes to keep it scientific. He unleashed this pearler last September when discussing a weak positive case that was historic and uninfectious. The cycle threshold value relates to the concentration of genetic material in a sample. I hate bikes.

As of this week, we must also add Incorrect. That’s how Dr B described his original description of attending a cricket match as a guest of NZ Cricket as “in his private capacity”.

Just a reminder

Wash, sanitise hands, scan, Bluetooth on.

Jacinda Ardern and Ashley Bloomfield check in with the hand sanitiser on their way into a briefing (Photo: Hagen Hopkins/Getty Images)

Kia ora koutou katoa

If we updated this to be comprehensive it would take you a month to watch.   

Learnings

Everything we didn’t know in February 2020. 

Motu

No man is an island, and no man has said “motu” on live TV at 1pm every day more than Ashley Bloomfield.

Nasopharyngeal

Go on, say it. You can do it. Your nasal cavity salutes you. 

Oh gosh

What I imagine Ashley Bloomfield said out loud when he discovered someone tattooed his face on their leg.

OH GOSH, THERE ARE FIVE ASHLEY BLOOMFIELDS (PHOTO: SCREENGRAB FROM MACSEN’S UNSTOPPABLE SUMMER FESTIVAL VIDEO)

Prosaic

Bloomfield made an unexpected departure from his usual lyricism in April 2020 with this press conference banger: 

And finally

just a sort of more prosaic matter

I’ve extended the existing section 70 notices

before they expire

at midnight 

tonight.

Quarantine facilities

A home away from home, and a favourite topic of discussion during the 1pm press conferences.

Rollercoaster 

“Covid-19 can feel like a rollercoaster you didn’t buy a ticket for,” Bloomfield said last week. What a truth bomb. I always knew he loved Ronan Keating. 

Scrupulous

Like assiduous, only snazzier.  

That’s all I have, prime minister

That’s all you have? ALL YOU HAVE? Stop that right now, director general. Never undervalue yourself, Ashley Bloomfield. Live, love, laugh, you are enough. 

Tricky virus

This winning phrase is often used by Bloomfield and the prime minister, as if they’re standing in front of a naughty wee globule of Covid-19 and pinching its cheek and ruffling its hair and saying OH, YOU. It’s a handy term that covers a multitude of sins, from “we weren’t quite as prepared as we thought” to “WTAF is happening”. 

Seriously, don’t (Photo: Hagen Hopkins/Getty Images)

Unknown source

Gosh. 

Virus is the problem (the)

People are the solution, life is a roller coaster, just gotta ride it.

What I can say is …

What you hear when the doctor is not going to answer your question. 

Xacerbation of an xisting illness
Xcuse me, xeptional times call for xtraordinary spelling. Save your questions for the 1pm press conference. 

Your usual business

What Bloomfield does not want you to “go about” if you have symptoms. No show business, no funny business, and definitely no getting down to business. Also, if you have a head for business and a body for sin, then please cover your entire lustful carcass with nasal swabs and hope for the best. 

More Reading
One position, 1,200 applications: A snapshot of New Zealand’s job market right now For jobseekers, ‘New Zealand really fucking sucks right now’. Applications are being ignored, job listings are drying up and Australia is calling.
The local bug enthusiast who invented Daylight Saving Let us remember the local naturalist who first wanted the clocks changed back in 1895 – so he could spend more time searching for insects.

Zero cases

The best words Bloomy’s ever uttered. 

Keep going!
closeup of hands of elderly person with blood pressure monitor
Senior woman giving informal care to her 91 year old father in his house: measuring his blood pressure and blood saturation levels Video is also available from this series.

SocietyMarch 12, 2021

No, ‘self-control’ is not the key to ageing healthily

Guest writer
closeup of hands of elderly person with blood pressure monitor
Senior woman giving informal care to her 91 year old father in his house: measuring his blood pressure and blood saturation levels Video is also available from this series.

Trying to teach people to ‘do better’ with a set of social conditions that are unfair and health-damaging is not only useless, it’s harmful, writes health researcher Mary Breheny.

As the population ages, there is increasing interest in how best to maintain health in later life. Fending off infirmity is regarded as a double win: better for older people and better for society. To this end, simple health interventions are eagerly researched and promoted in the media.

Eating well, exercising diligently, doing mental gymnastics with sudoku and second language learning are all proposed as ways to do better in older age. We are encouraged to believe that healthy ageing is the outcome of a lifetime of careful preparation and hard work.

Ageing better – a matter of self-control?

The headline of a recent study adds to this weight of expectation. It suggests that increasing self-control may improve ageing. The findings are used to suggest interventions to increase self-control to: “improve not just length of life, but also quality of life”. Ability to “contain one’s own thoughts, feelings and behaviours” is given as a route to a longer, healthier life.

On the surface, it sounds pretty innocuous. Being able to control yourself sounds like a good thing. Intuitively, it sounds like it could make people healthier.

Our longitudinal research with older New Zealanders suggests that it is not that simple. Evidence from our Health, Work and Retirement longitudinal study is that socioeconomic status is the strongest predictor of health outcomes in later life. Socioeconomic status refers to the resources that people have and how well these resources meet their needs. Our findings reflect a weight of evidence internationally that access to resources shapes health in later life and patterns how long people live.

Weathering the storm

How well people age is the outcome of a lifetime of experiences. It depends on childhood circumstances, educational success, employment history, disabling health conditions and housing tenure. These are patterned by ethnicity, gender, relationship history and caregiving responsibilities. To make it even more complicated, they all act together. The chances of success in education is shaped by ethnicity; the chances of staying in employment depends on caregiving responsibilities and gender.

Life experiences shape people’s thoughts, feelings and behaviours too. Life experiences teach people what the future might hold for them, how much of the world is theirs for the taking. Whether they should savour pleasures today or pursue rewards in the future. Whether, given what old age looks like among their families and communities, it makes sense to anticipate a long and healthy later life.

Arline Geronimus uses the phrase “weathering” to describe how chronic stress erodes health over time. Over time, the stress of managing daily lives of poverty, racism and sexism builds up, leading some groups to age more quickly. Professor Geronimus warns of the dangers of pre-judging how people deal with the conditions they find themselves in. 

Interrogating self-control

This is hugely important when we come to tell people how they should conduct themselves to improve their health. “Self-control” might not be a simple internal process that can be taught and refined.

What might look like a lack of “self-control” from one perspective may be an accurate assessment of how much control people have over the circumstances of their lives – beliefs people develop because of the struggles they experience. 

“Self-control” may be the outcome of a lifetime of advantage, something people appear to develop when the world consistently goes their way. Or it may be a resource that is depleted as people struggle through a lifetime of adversities, leaving them arriving at later life in poorer health, with self-control spent. Either way, the answer to better later lives is not training people to control themselves. 

Advocating health

Health researchers should advocate for better health. And the types of solutions matter – they tell our communities what to focus on, what kinds of people there are, and how we should treat them. Research advocating for improved self-control blames people for their poor health. It promotes the notion that healthy ageing is an individual responsibility rather than a systemic failure of our society to distribute resources equitably.

Interventions like these are not without history. They are part of an ongoing effort to teach people to do better with a set of social conditions that are unfair and health-damaging. Proposing solutions like this is far from useless. It is harmful.

Investing in equity

We cannot find it acceptable to train people to do better, to try harder, to control themselves more to prevent health challenges in older age. This will do nothing to address a lifetime of exclusion from the resources needed for good health in older age. 

Self-control is not a lever that we can pull to improve health at a population level. Community investment in broadening access to resources is where our health advocacy efforts should lie.

Society