NewsSeptember 7, 2015

News: Meet the Brave Pita Pit-Fueled Warriors Entering The Block NZ Villa Wars For 2015

Senior writer

The Block NZ: Villa Wars is jackhammering its way onto our screens soon, putting teams head to head as they restore villas to their former glory in Sandringham. The Block will see a fair few changes this season, with a new challenge host (ex-judge Shelley Ferguson), judges Bernadette Morrison and Jason Bonham, and – most exciting of all – Pita Pit joining as a partner. I simply can’t wait to hear the teams repeatedly butcher the order for a “Chick’n Fala” and get a solid consensus on the pronunciation of “pita” once and for all. But enough about delicious and healthy meal options, let’s meet the teams for 2015.

Jamie and Hayden

This might be the ‘banter’ couple! Fingers crossed Jamie and Hayden and the new Jo and Damo, having got together after many hilarious-sounding hijinks involving broken legs and towed cars. He is an ex-police officer studying law, she is a sales representative and a North Harbour netball player. Jamie seems incredibly competitive, and once made Hayden play cards with her 30 times so she could beat him convincingly. Skills wise, Hayden lives for DIY, and Jamie is very much looking forward to getting “on the tools.”

What will be in their villa, probably? One table and a shotgun, with Jamie sitting there calmly inviting you to play Russian Roulette… or else.

Brooke and Mitch

This team currently reside in Christchurch with Mitch’s parents, after returning from a classic big OE. They own a labrador called Chopper, which seems suspicious to me. Chopper’s Republic of The Block-istan? Too soon to say. Mitch once made a map of New Zealand on the wall for Brooke using a toilet cistern. I’m disgusted, impressed, and am looking forward to him adorning wallpapering with toilet paper. When it comes to design, Mitch prefers a feel-good combo of black and concrete. Brooke, however, doesn’t like quite as much concrete.

What will be in their villa, probably? A black and concrete portaloo jail.

Sarah and Minnane

These young sisters from Hamilton are billed as “deceptively strong”, having helped their builder father renovate from a very early age. Sarah has a Masters in Industrial Design, has worked in 3D modelling and speaks three languages. Minnane has a Bachelor of Arts and Bachelor of Commerce degree, and likes to make short films in her spare time. Together, I’m hoping they are going to be weird and conceptual and, as promised, alarmingly brawny.

What will be in their villa, probably? Negative space, you walk into a room and the walls collapse around you, leaving nothing but a greyscale projected montage of young girl crying, a seagull eating a chip and a stationary butter churn.

Cat and Jeremy

This is the James and Marie couple of this season, I’m guessing this because Jeremy’s proposal to Cat (or lack thereof) after many years of being together made it into the second sentence of their bio. But also, Jeremy works in industrial design, making spaces efficient – so maybe he’s Corban? Either way, Cat says she has very long arms and will put them to good use when painting.

What will be in their villa, probably? Many shelves just a little too high for the average punter due to Cat’s alleged spider monkey arms.

The Block NZ: Villa Wars is coming soon to TV3

Keep going!

NewsSeptember 4, 2015

The Spinoff’s TV Week: Sister Wives, Struggle Street and My Big Fat Ferndale Wedding

Group Think

A bunch of people

Bringing together the TV moments of the week, including the launch of an essential reality channel, Masterchef’s big mistake and Ferndale’s mid-week marriage.

The Launch of a Sky’s Big Fat Reality Channel

TLC launched this Tuesday on Sky channel 16, bringing with it a slew of truly unbelievable “lifestyle” programming. We’re talking big leagues now. This is the home of Toddlers and Tiaras and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, this is the channel that will turn anyone, and anything, into a reality franchise. And by gum am I excited about it. There are the frenzied yet functional lives of those cheap skate Gatorade-rich folk in Extreme Couponing, balanced out with chilled out life on the farm in Little People, Big World. Yip. I’m not making that name up. Think you can separate truth from fiction? (Click here to play our TLC fake-or-real titles game). / AC

It’s a Nice Day For a, Ferndale Wedding

Things have really turned around in Ferndale after the past few morose weeks (click here for our Shortland Street power rankings) On Wednesday night, Nicole and Vinnie finally tied the knot after far too many secrets, and more than enough comas. Keeping it in the family, they were married by Robbie Magasiva in a brief but exciting cameo. The bride wore a shimmering gold gown, the groom had his hair gelled to gleaming perfection. The one thing I liked more than the wedding actually happened after the show, when the Shortland Street team opened the guestbook to die-hard fans. Below are some of the my favourite entries. / AC

A Tough Trip Down Struggle Street

Episode two of Struggle Street aired last night, and was comfortably the most devastating television of the year. The three part documentary series aired on Australian television in May, and was criticised from some quarters as ‘poverty porn’ or the ‘scum zoo’. To me it was instead that rarest of beasts – an unflinching look at the way drugs, despair and extreme disadvantage have created intergenerational harm in Australia. But the most impressive element was how apolitical it was. It simply presented lives as they are lead, rather than scouting around for someone to blame. Which is not to say that there isn’t fault on many sides and in many sectors. But the arresting images were so much more powerful for their lack of commentary and mediation. That stuff is far better when it happens around, rather than within, a show. (Click here to read Finlay McDonald’s Struggle Street essay for The Spinoff) / DG

Masterchef Spoils the Broth

Masterchef NZ has been having a hard time recently, with Al Brown’s whacky hat fashion show unable to attract large audience numbers. Wake up New Zealand! Did you not see the time he had a cauliflower on his hat?! Punters were left steaming mad on Monday night after an on screen error revealed which contestant was going home at the end of the episode. I haven’t felt this deceived by graphics since I found out King Kong was just Andy Serkis in a onesie. Just tll us who wins now. Click here for our full rundown of Masterchef NZ week six. / AC

Rachel Hunter Puts Her Arse on the Line

The second leg of Rachel Hunter’s Tour of Beauty took us to South Korea last week, where the plastic surgery rate is the highest in the world. After spending some time with snail secretion cremes, she had her own consult with a plastic surgeon who told her she needed her face filled, lasered, and lifted. As if that wasn’t rough enough, she then found herself poked and prodded by a traditional healer with an incredibly invasive stick technique.

It’s been a rough week for Rachel on her odyssey of beauty, no butts about it. (Click here to read a full recap of the episode) / AC

Watch: Bullseye, Friday TV3 at 7.30pm – The strong vampire from Twilight hosts this new physical game show, where humans do whatever it takes to hit the bullseye.

Movie: The Great Gatsby, Saturday TV2 at 8.40pm – If this is Baz Luhrmann’s dream realised, I’m terrified to know what his nightmares look like. A weird, CGI-soaked take on an old classic.

Binge: Dead Like Me on Lightbox (click here to watch) – Killed by a piece of flying space station? Just become a Grim Reaper, no worries.

This content, like everything we do at The Spinoff, is brought you thanks to the truly wonderful people at Lightbox. Do us and yourself a favour by clicking here to start a FREE 30 day trial of this fantastic service.