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Asylum seekers from Norwegian freighter the MV Tampa and local fishing boat the Aceng arrive at Nauru off the Australian coast on 19 September 2001. (Photo by Fairfax Media/Fairfax Media via Getty Images)
Asylum seekers from Norwegian freighter the MV Tampa and local fishing boat the Aceng arrive at Nauru off the Australian coast on 19 September 2001. (Photo by Fairfax Media/Fairfax Media via Getty Images)

SocietyNovember 11, 2017

As a Tampa refugee, I have seen first-hand the impact when NZ takes moral leadership

Asylum seekers from Norwegian freighter the MV Tampa and local fishing boat the Aceng arrive at Nauru off the Australian coast on 19 September 2001. (Photo by Fairfax Media/Fairfax Media via Getty Images)
Asylum seekers from Norwegian freighter the MV Tampa and local fishing boat the Aceng arrive at Nauru off the Australian coast on 19 September 2001. (Photo by Fairfax Media/Fairfax Media via Getty Images)

I was just a child when NZ took me and my family. Today, as hundreds of refugees cry out for help from Manus Island, we need to remember what we’re really about as a nation, writes Abbas Nazari.

During her first foreign trip as prime minister, Jacinda Ardern on Sunday renewed New Zealand’s offer to take 150 refugees from Manus Island and Nauru, the sites of offshore Australian detention centres. Reiterating the pledge from the previous government, she said New Zealand had an obligation “to make sure that we maintain our obligations to the United Nations to take refugees”.

Malcolm Turnbull said Australia would not take up the offer “at this time”.

The Australian PM turned down the offer despite the torturous situation on Manus Island. As I write this, some 600 refugees remain at the closed Australian detention centre, without food, water, electricity and other essential services. Australia has pulled the plug.

It is easy to think that these refugees are far from our shores. But this is in the Pacific. Our backyard. Not some refugee camp in a far off continent, but a small and impoverished island only a few hundred kilometres from the Australian mainland.

When I see the pictures of men in the camps, with their misspelled signs and determined faces, I am reminded of our journey to New Zealand.

My story has a happy ending, but for the majority of people in war-torn countries, the reality is that life is indeed nasty, brutish and short.

I was born in Afghanistan where I lived until the age of seven. At that time, Afghanistan was under Taliban rule and a conflict that had largely remained confined to Kabul and the other major centres spilled into the rural provinces.

No longer safe in the mountainous valley where my family had lived for generations, my parents made the decision to leave and seek a better life elsewhere.

That new life was going to be in Australia, a promised land that was open to refugees.

Just like all the other refugees who undertake the perilous journey in search of another life, I was too young to comprehend the gravity of the journey ahead, or the risks involved. We made our way into Pakistan where we boarded a plane to Indonesia.

As a kid who had grown up in a landlocked valley, being on an aeroplane was an exciting adventure. I saw the ocean for the first time – an experience that stays with me to this day.

In Indonesia, we spent our days reading and writing Farsi, our native language, as my parents didn’t want us to fall behind in school.

One night my parents woke us up.

“Get dressed and get your things together. We’re going on another trip.”

I packed a t shirt, a pair of pants, a pencil and my Farsi notebook into a plastic bag. We boarded a bus and journeyed in the dark to the seaside where I could hear the crash of waves against the docked boats. Other families joined us and we were ushered into the belly of a ship.

Dawn broke and I remember seeing the endless and undisturbed horizon. We were finally at sea. The boat was packed on all levels including the deck and storage areas beneath. It was a fishing vessel, with a hole in the deck for a toilet. As day turned to dusk the weather changed, bringing in a heavy swell. The storm was so severe that the boat was at the mercy of the waves which pounded it back and forth. Those brave enough got up to bucket out the water and plug holes. The engine had cut amid the storm and each wave would batter the sides with such force that capsizing seemed imminent.

Up to this point, my childish understanding of our journey from Afghanistan seemed like a big adventure, but hearing the hushed prayers of the parents and the piercing cries from the babies suddenly grounded me to the situation. Men and women who had risked it all to deliver their families to a new beginning had accepted the risks but hoped they would never come to be. Now I could hear them praying aloud that should this be their final moments; then may God deliver their bodies to shore so they could be buried on land.

It seemed the powers that be were listening, because we survived that night, and the next day we were rescued by the container ship, the MV Tampa, all 433 of us. What ensued was an international debacle over responsibility for the boatload of mostly Afghan refugees. But the New Zealand government and public were watching and taking pity on our situation, they welcomed us to our new homeland with open arms.

I’ve been living in New Zealand ever since and I’m proud to call myself a Kiwi. I have been back to Afghanistan twice in the years since we arrived in New Zealand, and I have seen what life would have been like had my family stayed in war-torn Afghanistan.

In the beginning we were welfare dependent, but gradually we built ourselves up to integrate into the fabric of New Zealand society. The Tampa refugees are now small business owners, home owners, doctors, nurses, public servants, students and pretty keen rugby players. Given the chance at a new life, we have grabbed it with both hands.

Asylum seekers both from the Tampa and Aceng arrive at Nauru in September 2001. Photo: Fairfax Media via Getty Images

There was a story I learned in primary school about the discovery of the Land of the Long White Cloud. A contingent of waka that had been at the mercy of the mighty Pacific found refuge on the shores of these undiscovered islands. These initial settlers were joined centuries later by other intrepid souls.

We learned that gradually the society of the Land of the Long White Cloud grew to encompass people from all over the world. Men on the chase for gold, families repatriating from their homes and those joining from the Pacific community. Each new addition added their own substance and flavour to the New Zealand cooking pot and helped create the kai that is unique to this part of the world.

Now as we debate the migrant crisis, I can’t help but recall that story we learned as children. It is all the more relevant today. Because we seem to have forgotten the underlying premise of the tale – that everyone living in New Zealand is a migrant, a refugee or a descendant of one. It is all too easy to imagine ourselves intrinsically different to the Syrians and Iraqis fleeing their homes, but is their story so different from that of Polish and Dutch refugees whom sought refuge in New Zealand following world war Two?

We often look at the Tampa affair as a moment when Kiwis stood up and raised their flag of moral leadership. We can’t help the 52 million displaced people around the world, but we can do more to help the men trapped in limbo on these islands so close to home.

Keep going!
Teaching at risk children yoga and mindfulness has helped them find a sense of calm.
Teaching at risk children yoga and mindfulness has helped them find a sense of calm.

SocietyNovember 10, 2017

Getting Your Shit Together: how to decompress the stress

Teaching at risk children yoga and mindfulness has helped them find a sense of calm.
Teaching at risk children yoga and mindfulness has helped them find a sense of calm.

Getting Your Shit Together is a monthly column on everyday mental health from Auckland mindfulness educator Kristina Cavit. In her final column of the series she’s talking to Sheryn Gieck about how to find clarity in a world full of stress and anxiety. 

I’ve just returned from teaching yoga and mindfulness at the NPH orphanage in the Dominican Republic where I used to live for two years. I felt the happiest I have been in a while doing mindfulness, yoga, dance and having so many lols with over 200 kids at the NPH orphanage. So I got to thinking about how I could keep hold of this perspective in our little pressure cooker that is Auckland.

It’s easy enough to forget all those amazing moments with the kids, get complacent about how good my life is and buy into the chaos of rushing around mindlessly to get everything done. So I thought I would talk to one of my favourite wahine toa, Sheryn Gieck to see how she keeps her perspective.

When I was strung out on anxiety and about to burn out, Sheryn came along like an actual angel. I met her at a yoga teacher training in 2013. She supported me to go to The School of The Work of Byron Katie in California – a nine day programme that completely shifted my perspective on stress. To say that Sheryn changed my life is no lie.

On this programme, I learnt how to see things with a more accurate, kind perspective and the stressful thoughts I’d been carrying around for years started having less power over me. It was hands down the most difficult, amazing, empowering thing I’ve ever done. I now use this tool of questioning stressful thoughts on a daily basis to move through my own negative thinking, and to support our private clients and rangatahi at The Kindness Institute.

So I asked Sheryn to share some of the challenges she’s faced and how she manages stress during tough times.

Sheryn Gieck is changing lives.

When did you first notice you were experiencing stress?

I’ve had a level of anxiety that was always there, even as a little girl. It was like a feeling of being a bit baffled by life. I went to three different colleges, my parents had split up and I was going back and forth between them, looking after mums boyfriends kids, doing the ironing, cooking dinner, cleaning after school. I was trying to be the best young girl that I could be for each parent. I wanted it all to be ok.

This anxiety stayed and I took that into my marriage and into the following years of parenting. I thought it was normal. The anxiety grew, dramas started to increase and I realised I couldn’t be a good parent living this way. Something had to change.                                                                           

That’s when I started taking a look at myself – I thought, I don’t want this anxiety anymore and there’s got to be another way. So  I embarked on a journey of self-development. I did HEAPS of things: I punched pillows, I did counselling, rebirthing, American ‘You can do it!’ new age courses, self-help, spiritual books…. I’m tired just thinking about it!

All this work and nothing fundamentally seemed to be shifting. In my mid 40s I realised that all this work was not addressing what was going on in my mind. I understood that if I didn’t do something with my belief structure, nothing would change.

What helped change things for you?

About 10 years ago, I went on a workshop for The Work of Byron Katie, which is a tool to question the thoughts that cause our stress. That’s where I went ‘Ok, this is about what’s going on in my head – mostly very old thoughts and stories that I’m still believing.’ Thoughts I had never questioned. The Work is based on Byron Katie’s experience that we suffer when we are believing a stressful thought and don’t suffer when we don’t believe a stressful thought.

There are three parts to it: identify the stressful thought; question the thought; and to take that thought and turn it around (and see it from another perspective).

It made sense to me from that first workshop. I started doing it pretty regularly. And yet it was after experiencing a major collapse in my life that my commitment for The Work came. My 28 year marriage ended dramatically, my last child had left home, our last parent had died and I ruptured my L5 disc and had a back operation. I look back and think it had to be that dramatic.

I was so attached to looking outwards to others for my self-worth – wanting to be the best young woman and seeking approval and love from outside of me. Nearly all the key players in my life no longer were there. It was me with me.

I went right down a hole, it was a very dark time for me… and yet I trusted The Work and down the hole it came with me. Then for the next couple of years I was doing The Work daily on my stressful thoughts such as ‘I’m alone’, ‘Life is scary’ ‘He betrayed me’, ‘she hurt me’, ‘they don’t care about me’. It was a big internal journey and eventually a homecoming.

Today I live with a greater ease and peace. I like myself, I trust myself, I listen to myself for guidance. Am I perfect? Haha no! Yet when I experience stress, I have a tool. I question the thought, rather than simply believing it. I understand that I am my own answer for peace. No one else is. It’s my job and my responsibility. It’s not a quick fix, it is work. Yet once the benefits are felt, there is no going back. It becomes a daily practice for the sheer love of how I feel after doing it.

Sheryn shares her love of the work of Byron Katie and runs EastWest yoga studio with her daughter Amelia and good friend Kirsty. You can find more info on Sheryn here: http://www.mindfreedom.co.nz/

Are you experiencing depression or anxiety and need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor.

Lifeline – 0800 543 354 or 09 5222 999 within Auckland.

Youthline – 0800 376 633, free text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz or online chat.

Samaritans – 0800 726 666.

Anxiety phone line – 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY)

www.depression.org.nz

www.thelowdown.co.nz


This column is brought to you by the Mental Health Foundation. The MHF is working to create an Aotearoa where we all feel good most of the time, whether or not you have experience of mental illness. It promotes the Five Ways to Wellbeing – give, be active, take notice, keep learning and connect – because these five amazingly simple strategies really will make a difference to how you live and feel every day.